Baby Steps
by jaxon22
Summary: Edward is warring with himself about moving his and Bella's relationship on. A little Lemony goodness for my first effort. May be the first of many?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! **

**This is my first fanfic and I am very, very nervous about it.**

**I've just been so inspired by the work that I've seen on here (checkout favourites list) that I couldn't hold back anymore!! **

**I know there are tons of EPOV fics on here but I wanted to start off with something I consider a little easier for me – plus it's a little Lemony (AHHH) **

**It may be a one-off for now, but if the feedback demands it I may do more (I fear a floodgate has been opened!!)**

**I'll appreciate all reviews – but please be gentle *takes deep breath*…..**

…**..here goes…**

**Baby Steps**

**EPOV**

If you'd asked me a year ago what my thoughts were regarding my existence I may have used words like purgatory, monotonous or even hellish. And I probably would have offered them with no emotion, inflection or care, just words to answer a question that I've reflected – if not obsessed – over for the past 107 years.

An existence that, although has brought me the most amazing family, I'd found banal and, at best, repetitive. Living through other people's thoughts the majority of the time, not through my own choice, I'd come to conclude that mankind was a lost cause, selfish in the extreme, focusing on the most inconsequential elements of their lives, lustful and hateful.

I suddenly found myself smiling.

Placing my arms behind my head and looking up at the ceiling it suddenly hit me; the change that had occurred within myself.

Being the creature that I was, change was not something that took place very often. As a vampire I was frozen, in body and very much in mind.

For over a century my likes and my dislikes had remained the same. My love of music, my dislike of narrow-minded people, my fondness for walking through a rain storm and my adoration for my family lingered. But, as I thought about it longer, all this seemed to pale to insignificance next to the emotions I was feeling now.

Bella.

Ah yes. The human girl who had entered my life, turned it upside down, shaken it about and watched with awe and love as the pieces settled back. Pieces that fit around her perfectly. Almost like it was meant to be. My heart, the incomplete jigsaw, had suddenly found its missing piece. It seemed a weak analogy to use but that's what I felt.

Complete.

Our relationship, our love had always balanced, precariously, upon a knife edge. It hadn't taken me long to realise that without her, my Bella, my existence would become meaningless.

Forget purgatory – hell would seem a welcome option than to survive in a world without her by my side. And from painful experience, even surviving was a laughable verb to use.

I'd liken it to asking a human to 'survive' in a desert with no water or shelter. Pointless.

Bella had become my everything. My water. My shelter. And I wanted and tried to give her everything I could.

And therein lay the problem.

As a vampire my thirst for blood is a constant reminder of the monster that silently skulks within me.

My initial bloodlust, when I first met Bella, was the most overwhelming, intoxicating feeling I had ever experienced. I warred with myself, my monster and my family about it. It disgusted me that I'd wanted her so badly. To take her somewhere secluded and indulge in the sweet essence of the blood that swam through her veins.

My _water? _Yeah right!

But I hadn't, I didn't. Instead I'd fallen in love with her. I'd realised the beauty that encased the liquid that called to me. I'd realised it and embraced it. Embraced her.

My _shelter? _You get the picture!

I'd fought with the darker side of my nature and come out the winner. For now the bloodlust lay dormant.

Not gone you understand. Dormant.

And as I continued to stare up at the uneven brush marks on the ceiling it dawned on me that it may be ready to erupt.

There was a different kind of lust that was vying for control now. Not even a lust. A desire. Not even a desire. A need. I needed her. Bella. I needed her in so many ways, but recently one way continued to hammer its existence into my brain. And my body.

I closed my eyes as the waves of the now familiar craving for her crept up my torso, lingering deep within my stomach. I sighed and smiled thinking about Bella's assumption that the reason I continually pulled back from her was because I didn't want her.

_Didn't want her?_ Honestly, was she insane?!

I wanted, yearned and longed for every part of her with every part of my being.

I moved to ease the tightness I felt in my groin. Oh yes – so very male – so very human.

I took in a deep breath to try and organise my thoughts and was impaled to the bed by Bella's scent. Her fragrance permeated the room – well it was her bedroom after all – feeling it writhe seductively down into my lungs. This wasn't going to help with the calming I thought wryly.

I sat up and put my chin in my hands realising that the chime of the shower had ceased and had now been replaced with the sound of Bella running the towel over her body. Having vampire senses had its drawbacks. The towel moved over the curves of her, soaking up the pools of water that had collected on her beautiful skin. Over her collar bone, arms, waist and stomach, down further…

You see the problem?

Hearing the door of the bathroom open and the floorboards creaking towards her bedroom I placed my finger and thumb against the bridge of my nose.

Come on Edward, I thought, you've coped so far. Coped? Ha. Try suffered.

Looking up as she entered the room I was momentarily dazed by her appearance. It astounded me that even after 20 minutes of being apart from her - even for a shower – I could find new facets of her beauty that I hadn't noticed before.

The shape of her eyebrow, perfectly arching over her large chocolate eyes, leading to her cheeks, still pink from her shower, to her lips. Lips that were full in all the right places, soft and rouged. Lips that I had noticed had turned into a questioning smile.

'Edward,' she smiled nervously 'Is something wrong?'

Absentmindedly she tugged at her pyjama tank top pulling it so that the hem rested on the waistband of her shorts. I broke slowly out of my reverie, focusing fully on her heart-shaped face. I shook my head slowly, my eyes never leaving hers.

'You just take my breath away every time I see you Bella.' I heard her heart beat increase ever so slightly.

I lifted my hand off the bed to beckon her towards me. Even 6 feet of bedroom seemed like too much space between us. I clasped her hand and pulled her gently so that she was standing between my legs at the edge of the bed. Taking my hand away from hers I placed both of my palms lightly on my knees. I lifted the side of my mouth in a knowing smirk as I remembered that age old saying – 'look don't touch'.

But God knows I wanted to touch her. Feel her. Kiss her everywhere I wanted to. Everywhere she wanted me to.

'What's funny?' she breathed, her hands balling up into small fists at her side. I looked up at her, the smirk fading, knowing that the sadness and regret that I felt would surely show in the golden flecks of my eyes.

'Absolutely nothing Bella. I just…I want…I need to…' I let out a sigh, resigned to the fact that what I wanted to do couldn't be put into words. I felt her fingers under my chin, the waves of longing roaming through my body again like ripples in water. As I looked up at her she smiled, sighing just as I had.

'I know Edward,' she whispered 'I know.'

I lifted my hands slowly, as not to surprise her, and placed them gently on her small hips. Her breathing hitched, as did mine, as I snaked my hands to the small of her back. I raised her tank top and placed my cold ands to her skin. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath I placed my cheek against her stomach, feeling her scent contort around my mouth, tongue and nose. I could have stayed there forever, resting on the no-man's land of her body, between her breasts and the most precious of places further down.

I knew this was as torturous for her as it was for me as a familiar scent mingled with her freesia essence. She wanted me too, I knew this, but it would be impossible, dangerous, insanity, crazy, sensual, warm, incredible…

Stop Edward!!

I squeezed my eyes shut trying to black out the images that crept up on me. I hadn't realized I had tightened my grip on Bella's back until she shifted forward, stroking my wrists behind her. I looked up at her, 'I'm sorry.'

I truly was. Sorry that I couldn't do anything for her. For me.

She bent down slowly placing her hands on either side of my face and kissed me. Her lips were so warm. I kissed her back, running my hands up her spine to her neck, pushing my hands through her still wet hair. My lips moved urgently to hers as I pulled her head to me holding her to me, wanting to consume her in all the right ways. As well as all the wrong ways.

Her tongue lightly skimmed my bottom lip, leaving a trail of burning moisture on my mouth. I growled to show my need for her, but also to warn off the dark, skulking creature that stirred deep within. It was almost amusing – like winner takes all – as my desire and longing grew for her, as did the bloodlust. An endless battle between man and beast.

I continued to kiss her passionately, to show her how much I loved and wanted her. I hadn't pulled back yet and I was becoming increasingly aware that one push too far could hurt her, or worse. But my body craved for her too much to heed the warning fully.

She was so gentle that I nearly didn't register Bella pushing me down onto the bed, her knees resting between my thighs, her body laying the full length of mine. I eased her face from mine holding her hair through my fingers. She looked at me with a tumult of emotions sweeping through her eyes. Nervousness, guilt and want. I almost laughed out loud when I realised my face would read identically.

'Bella' I whispered smoothing my hands down her skin of her back. She arched ever so slightly, accidentally rubbing my groin against her body. I felt my dormant centre rear suddenly, pushing venom to my mouth, the bitter taste winding its way around my tongue. I closed my eyes tight and swallowed – hard. With vampire speed I flipped up and over, resting Bella gently back against the bed. If I scared her she didn't let on.

I held my weight above her with my hands at either side of her head. Breathing heavily. A pulsing sensation shook through my body. I suddenly noticed that Bella's top had risen above her bra in my haste to gain control. She noticed the direction of my eyes and looked down. She blushed slightly allowing the warm, red heat to cover her. Her stomach, collarbone and breasts came alive with the delicious blush that held them.

My breathing increased. As did the tightening in my stomach.

'Bella' I whispered not raising my eyes from her chest 'You're so beautiful…it hurts.' It was true. My body ached for her. Ached to be against, ached to take her in all the ways a man could take a woman. The look on her face told me she knew how I felt – the heat emitting from all over her body told me. As I watched her face I saw an infinitesimal change. Her pupils grew and her breathing eased. A decision made.

She slowly raised her tank top up and over her head – dropping it to the floor.

This I could handle I thought, choking back more venom. This I could cope with. Survive. Would she?

I honestly couldn't tell you.

I raised myself so that I was kneeling on the bed. Bella followed my lead, sitting up in front of me. So beautiful. So incredibly breakable. We stared at each other like this for what seemed like an eternity. I had never wanted to read her mind so much at that moment, decode her thoughts and listen to her deepest desires and secrets. I swear, as if she knew what I was thinking, she slowly reached back to the clasp on her bra.

'I…' I couldn't speak, I could barely breathe. My eyes never left her face. I didn't dare look at what she was doing. I could feel the lust, both blood and desire, creeping slowly up my body tensing the muscles in my thighs and back like a coil ready to spring.

She paused. Just for a second. Then realising that I wasn't, couldn't, wouldn't stop her she pulled her bra from her body. The look in her eyes told me that she was offering herself to me. This exquisite, unique, incredible woman was offering everything precious and pure. To me.

'Look at me Edward' she breathed.

'I am' I replied, almost surprised that I could get the words out. I remained focused on her warm, chocolate eyes. I knew what she wanted and dear God I wanted to, but I couldn't look.

'No Edward' she said raising herself to her knees so that hers were touching mine. 'Look at me'

She slowly placed her hand on the side of my face. The warmth to my cool skin made me exhale a breath I didn't even know that I was holding. Bella blinked, momentarily dazed by my scent on her face.

'I can't…Bella…I'm…afraid' I forced out between laboured breaths. I had to be honest with her. I _was_ afraid. I was afraid that I'd lose control and do something wrong, I was afraid I would hurt her, afraid I'd kill her and as silly and egotistical as it sounds I was also afraid that I wouldn't be able to please her, that I wouldn't satisfy her – so _not _human, yeah?

She smiled at me almost sensing my thoughts of inadequacy, not the hurting or killing parts you understand. So very Bella. 'I love you Edward' she said simply as if that was enough. And at that moment it was. My eyes slid from hers, soaking in her cheeks, down to her collarbone, a perfect shape sitting under the pale veil of her smooth skin. To finally her breasts. I inhaled a sharp breath through my teeth making a hissing noise.

She was perfect. No. More. She was magnificent.

Her breasts, like the rest of her, were pale and supple and, as I felt all my gentlemanly virtues slip quietly out of the window I'd entered through, I suddenly realised all I wanted to do was touch them. I closed my eyes feeling the tightening in my shoulders now, down my chest to my stomach, to my groin. A small moan passed through the venom that had collected at my lips.

'I want you Bella…so much it scares me' I kept my eyes shut trying to control my breathing. Her scent danced around me, trapping itself in every nook and cranny of my body. 'Please Edward' I opened my eyes to see her pleading face inches from mine. 'Please touch me.' Her breath caressed my face, blowing my hair.

I'd vowed to this girl that I would give her everything and anything she ever needed – always – no matter what and honestly it crushed my insides that I couldn't give her this one thing. This realisation must have been screaming from my face as she kissed my lips with a featherlike swiftness. 'Close your eyes' she whispered 'And give me your hand.'

Her fingers lightly moved down the side of my face, down my shoulder, my bicep, my forearm, to my wrist and hand. The trail was like fire to my skin and the not so dormant lust tightened once more. My eyes pleaded with her to stop, but I knew I'd never ask her to not at this point. I was far too willing, too deep in the moment to stop now. I closed my eyes once more as well as my mouth to stop the words of denial from spilling out. I realised quickly that my laboured breath had increased in volume as it passed through my nose. Would she ever know what she did to me? Ever?

Feeling her grasp my wrist, she moved my hand up. I swallowed hard again, biting back the growl and the longing to look that suddenly swept over me. It suddenly felt like time had stood still. Stopped. Paused. Hesitated. The moment settled on the room. Hanging. Waiting.

And then it happened.

My hand was placed against her perfect breast. My palm smothered it with Bella's hand holding it in place. Holding me, in case I faltered. It took me a few seconds to realise that I'd stopped breathing altogether and only a couple more after that to realise Bella had done the same. In my panic to make sure that she was alright I quickly opened my eyes. 'Bella?' I asked, forgetting my yearning for a brief moment. She slowly focused on me as an unfamiliar look crossed her face. 'Breathe Bella' I urged quietly. She took a deep breath and in doing so my hand and hers moved with her chest.

It was the most erotic, sensual moment of my life. Watching her hand and mine rise and fall with each breath.

I watched, entranced as it happened again and again. As I looked from her breast to her face I saw the need in her eyes. 'Please Edward…please.' Her eyes squeezed shut almost like she was in pain. And it was painful. Painful to watch her need me so much and deny her.

But I'd gotten this far, right?

I could go a little further. Maybe. For her? Anything.

Baby steps Edward, I thought to myself.

I took another deep breath, my head swirling with her scent her arousal fighting through the aroma increasing mine ten-fold.

Baby steps. Calm.

I slowly lifted my left hand, shifting m eyes from her face to my hand, waiting for her silent permission. I had permission her face said. I always have. I hissed in another breath as my hand reached her. Encased her. Cupping her. Gingerly, with a courage that appeared from nowhere, my fingertips smoothed the skin from the top of her breast to its peak. Bella moaned so quietly I wasn't even sure it had happened. But the newly woken lust heard it leaking venom into my throat. I continued caressing her, touching her, feeling her nipples harden under my cool fingers. I couldn't hold it, 'Jesus' I moaned into her hair as I leaned Bella back down onto the bed never letting go of her body which was now pressed tightly against me.

Lifting her head our lips met with an urgency that conveyed all the desire that we had been repressing. I knew that we had only come a short way, but deep down I accepted that after this there was no going back. And what struck me most of all was the thought that I really didn't care. My lips left hers and started a trail down her jaw line, licking her cream coloured skin, tasting her. She tasted so good. Like she was made just for me and me alone. I found myself leaning towards the hot pulse that emanated from her throat. With each pulse her blood called to me – _Ed-ward, Ed-ward._

It would be so easy. So quick.

The warm sensation of her blood in my mouth down my throat to satisfy the creature that was blatantly pacing the weak fence that now held it back. It was only as my lips began to pull back over my teeth that I realised what I was about to do. I pushed back with enough force to fall back onto the floor at the end of the bed. Panting in anticipation and disgust equally.

How could I allow myself even a moment's lapse in control? How could I be so stupid? So selfish? I growled in anger. I was weak and I hated myself for it. How could I ever deserve this? This love? This acceptance from someone like Bella when I couldn't even guarantee control over myself?

As if to answer my silent punishments I suddenly felt Bella's arms tighten around my shoulders cradling my head under her chin. She was comforting me!! The monster being cradled by the almost victim? I almost laughed at the absurdity of the situation. 'I'm sorry' I mumbled, a part of me hoping that she would suddenly realise how dangerous I really was. But no, not Bella. I felt her stroke my hair, kissing through to the skin of my scalp breathing me in.

'There's nothing to be sorry for Edward' she replied, with what I swear was a smile, 'It's all about baby-steps.'

**So…what do you think? *hides behind large sofa* **

**I'm thinking that if I get enough reviews I'll keep the story going through the stages of Edward's sexual…erm…awakening?? **

**I've tried to keep it in character as much as possible and know that it isn't overly Lemony but Edward in my head would freak out at just about anything. Plus Edward is at his sexiest when he denies himself. Let me know anyway peeps. Adios for now ******


	2. Chapter 2

**Well what can I say?? I'm absolutely made up with the response to Baby Steps and honestly a little surprised. You guys are ace!!**

**So here is part two. Again, if the reviews will it so, there will be more! But as with Edward I'm just taking baby steps with the whole writing…thing!! *takes even bigger breath***

…**here goes nothing!!**

**Oh yeah just so you know I don't own twilight or its characters – mores the pity!!**

**Holding Tight**

**EPOV**

Time, to someone like me, is meaningless.

Years pass like months, months like days, weeks like hours, hours like minutes and minutes like seconds. Yet the past week had, it seemed, been the longest I'd ever experienced.

Drawn out. Sluggish. Meandering slowly by, seemingly, just to spite me.

I'd always assumed that time slowed down when you were looking forward to something. In this case the opposite was true. It had been exactly 6 days 16 hours and 23 minutes since mine and Bella's relationship had altered. Shifted? Changed? Regardless, it was different.

When Bella and I had realised that we were nothing unless we were together, two sides of the same coin, I had made it very clear that certain rules had to be put in place. Rules that had to be enforced. Rules that, if unheeded, could – no – _would_ result in, at best, us both being very sorry. They were for her protection and, if I'm honest, I clung to them unashamedly whenever my desires for her slinked past the line of appropriate and acceptable. It had started to occur to me however, more and more, that as much as I willed it otherwise, my grasp on these rules had begun to falter.

Don't get me wrong. I'd always wanted Bella and I knew I would want her unequivocally for the rest of my existence. It was my control over these feelings, or lack thereof, that was scaring me to death. It was bad enough anyway to conjure the strength it took to suppress my most primal urges where Bella was concerned. Yet these primal urges, over the last 6 days, had encountered some competition.

The lustful thoughts that I'd been having about Bella were starting to drive me insane. I'd always had thoughts about Bella…in that way before…of course, but it was the sheer frequency of them now that had knocked me. And the vividness? Well…Let's just say it's a good thing _I'm_ the only mind reader in my house!

I'd replayed what had happened with Bella, 6 days ago, over and over again. The sensation of having her skin so close to me. The fact that she offered herself to me, so freely, so blindly. It wasn't hard to see why I adored her to the ends of the earth. She was where I was concerned, fearless. And, if I'm honest, I liked it. She trusted me with every fibre of her being but, in truth, it would never fully erase the panic I encountered every time she was near me.

I had to remember, as if I could forget, that I was a vampire and as such was the most dangerous facet of Bella's life. I'd had to remind her on numerous occasions that my desire for her was not always good. The venom, the muscles ready to lunge at her had all played a part when, 6 days ago, I could have succumbed.

_But I hadn't._

There it was. That little glimmer of light and hope that I'd allowed to shine on my need for Bella. I'd managed to hold back. Yes, granted, it was a close run thing but I'd stopped the monster within me before it had a chance to devour Bella his way. Maybe my control was still in tact? Maybe I was strong enough? Maybe I didn't have anything to worry about?

Naïve, Edward. Very, very naïve.

In any case I'd resigned myself to the fact that, either way, it didn't matter. I wouldn't let myself get that carried away again. No matter what thoughts I had, regardless of the vividness. Bella was my life and I had to protect her. Even from me. But considering the close proximity we regularly found ourselves in this may be easier said than done. Especially tonight.

My, not so wonderful, sister Alice had organised a sleep over at our house for Bella. This would normally be a cause for great excitement on my part, and I was, but I also felt an overwhelming sense of dread. You see, Bella and I had not discussed what had happened 6 days ago. Not once. Things had fallen back into its normal routine, with my climbing through her window and holding her until she fell asleep every night. We both knew things had changed but similarly neither of us wanted to bring it up. Was it fear? Embarrassment? I couldn't tell you. But I had a feeling that the silence would end tonight.

I walked down the stairs to greet Bella and my sister as they walked through the door. I'd have picked her up myself but, due to the current situation, I'd gone hunting. I was apparently determined to gorge myself on everything but her. Emmett had found this as a source of great amusement, playing his own version of innuendo bingo every time I spoke. I'd thrown a large boulder at his head when he had started mentioning parts of Bella's body.

Bella stood in the hallway looking up at me. It filled me with pure joy every time I heard her heart stutter whenever she saw me. This, followed by the blush that crept up her neck, always managed to evoke a yearning that was a hybrid of protectiveness and craving. I walked to her and placed her hand in mine, feeling the electric current that passed through us. Connecting us. Making me feel very much a live. Yeah, this _was_ going to be difficult!

'Hey' she smiled at me, her eyes dancing with the same feeling.

'Hey back' I replied brushing my knuckle softly from her temple to her jaw line. She was so beautiful.

Without another word I led her up the stairs to my room. Away from everyone else. I'd always been fairly selfish when it came to sharing Bella. A selfishness that had been the cause of many an argument between Alice and myself. But I had dibs. She was mine. My room had been turned into a _bed_-room fairly recently. My not having to sleep had meant that the only source of comfort here had been a leather sofa that I would never allow Bella to sleep on. This had resulted in the purchasing of a wrought iron double bed that nestled snugly in the corner of the room. It was on this bed that Bella now settled crossing her legs, Buddha style, right in the centre.

I stood with my back towards the closed door, looking at her, taking her in. Her exquisite appearance. Her scent weaving its way down into my lungs. Call me sadistic but it was an almost pleasurable pain that I endured. I had to find pleasure in it somewhere rather than being a slave to my darker sides bidding. I slowly walked to the bed settling myself next to her. She never looked up at me as she idly played with a loose piece of thread that hung from the hem of her jeans. _What are you thinking my Bella?_ My frustration at her mental silence never abated.

Finally after what seemed like an eternity of quiet she turned towards me, still careful not to look at me. This again nearly drove me to distraction as her eyes were my only glimpse at the thoughts she kept so tightly locked away. 'Edward' she mumbled twisting the thread around her pinkie finger.

'Yes Bella?' I answered trying to convey a calm demeanour knowing full well that had my heart still had a beat it would have been hammering in my chest.

'Are we ever going to talk about what happened?' This was it the talk that I had been dreading. In all honesty my fear stemmed from the fact that I had no idea what I was going to say to her. After all when all was said and done it had been Bella that had comforted me when the bloodlust had nearly taken me. Taken her.

'I'm sorry Bella. I truly am. I never meant…' she didn't let me continue snapping her head to look squarely at me.

'Edward, seriously, I'm not a violent person, but if you apologise one more time I will not be responsible for my actions!' She never raised her voice but the conviction with which she retorted made me smile.

'Ok no apology.' I conceded. But I had to ask. 'What is it that you want me to say exactly?' Her eyes dropped again, too quickly. I lifted her chin gently with my thumb, 'Bella?'

With a deep sign she seemed to find her voice again. 'I just wanted you to know that I…I don't regret what we did. And I understand that it scared you. But please realise Edward that I never doubted your control. Not once. I love you and I appreciate if you can't find it in yourself to touch me…that way…again. I'll understand completely.' I knew it had taken a lot for her to say what she had but at that moment I was pulled in two different directions. The first part wanted to hold her tightly to me forever, never letting go. The other part was livid. How could she think that I…what? Regretted what had happened?

I shook my head in disbelief. 'Bella,' _where to begin?_ 'Sweetheart, from the moment I started to touch you. The moment I felt your warm skin against mine. The moment I saw your willingness to give yourself over to me, never, ever, ever did I begin to regret a single moment of what was happening.' I took her face in both of my hands, cupping her warm cheeks, 'I love you more than anything Bella and if I had to regret anything it would be the fact that I couldn't keep going and give you what you wanted.'

There I'd said it and I did feel better about it. I didn't want her to think that I was sorry for anything other than my lack of control. Regret touching her that way? Was she really serious? I put my lips to hers wanting to convince her of my words. Her warm mouth was more than willing, moulding to mine. I felt her hands move to the nape of my neck gently fingering my hair line, I sighed, feeling her mouth move into a satisfied smile. I pulled away gently.

'Bella if I could explain in words what I want…what I really feel…' I couldn't finish because as I said it I realised there were no words.

I noticed another blush illuminate her skin as she cleared her throat gently. 'Well, you could always show me?' I chuckled lightly almost in exasperation. She really did like to try my control but at that moment it suddenly occurred to me that I wanted her to. I pulled her towards me so that her ear rested next to my mouth. 'Okay' I breathed. The change in her heart beat was dramatic, almost missing a whole beat to suddenly become a loud thrumming. I smiled even though I could feel the venom sneaking up my throat. Not tonight I thought to myself. I won't lose control tonight.

She pulled away trying to find any sign of teasing or false promise on my face. I had to make it clear to her, for both our sakes. 'On one condition,' I could have sworn she rolled her eyes slightly 'I'm in control. At all times. You listen to me and only do what I ask.' It sounded slightly wrong said out loud but it was the only way I knew I would be able to keep my head. 'Also, you must tell me if I hurt you.' She never spoke but nodded very slowly.

I figured since we'd already moved so far last time it should be possible to start at the same place. No surprises this time. I took a breath feeling the burn of Bella's scent in my throat. I paused making sure that the evil within me was bound tight. I exhaled, realising that, for now, it hadn't stirred. I slowly placed my hands by her hips taking the hem of her t-shirt between my fingers. As if she knew what I wanted she gradually raised her arms above her head. I lifted it up and over her head inhaling deeply as her hair wafted her exceptionally potent essence towards me as it fell back on her shoulders.

I paused again. Nope. No stirring.

She was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen and if I'd had my way I would have sat gazing at her form till the end of time. Instead I gingerly placed my fingers on her shoulders, feeling her incredibly thin skin and the heat that radiated from it. I traced down her shoulders taking my time to enjoy the sensations that skated up my arms, down my chest and into my stomach. I felt the curve of her collarbone, unbelievable fragile and bent my head down to place a kiss in the hollow of her throat. Her breathing increased and her hands moved to my hair.

'Bella' I whispered taking them from my neck 'Please.' I have to admit it pleased me no end knowing that what I was doing was what she wanted. To her credit she placed her hands back down on the bed under her thighs. This I had to smile at. My hands continued their journey down her sides, purposely missing the sides of her breasts, and snaked quietly around to her back. I pulled her towards me and kissed her jaw line. The pulse that resonated from her neck was extraordinary.

Calm Edward. Yes, I thought, I'm still in control.

Bella tilted her head back slightly allowing me to kiss her neck from the bottom of her ear lobe to her shoulder. She was breathing so heavily it crossed my mind to stop. But only briefly. I felt the clasp to her bra and held my breath. This was the hard bit but I knew with my wits about me I'd, _she'd_, be fine. I unhooked each clasp slowly. With each hook undone I felt the ache suddenly return to my body. The slow smoulder, which had remained in my stomach for the past week, now tip-toed down to my groin. I moved slowly away from her, hearing a small groan escape from Bella's lips but instead of stopping, which was normally the case, I slipped my fingers under her bra straps and removed the entire thing from her body.

Exquisite didn't quite cover it. She was as perfect as I remembered – more so. I looked at her and smiled. She'd always said that I dazzled her but at that moment she was more dazzling than if I'd taken every star down from the sky and laid them next to her. There was, for me, no comparison. I wanted her to feel what I did and with that feeling surging around my body I lifted my arms above my head. She looked at me, almost questioning my intent. But with a breath and an elfin smile she brought my t-shirt over my head.

Invisible to human eyes, I noticed her pupils dilate, taking me in. I felt satisfied at that moment that she felt what I did. 'Lie down Bella.' Without a moments hesitation she did just that. I moved to lie next to her and placed my hand on her stomach, feeling her diaphragm rise and fall with each intake of breath. 'Can I touch you Edward?' she sighed. How could I refuse her? I nodded and watched as her delicate hand moved to my chest. Her touch was like nothing I'd ever experienced. She traced the outline of my stomach and up to my side. If there was a heaven, this was surely it. But, I thought, one thing at a time. I removed her hand and moved myself onto my elbow leaning over her placing her arm back to her side. 'Let me' I whispered taking her mouth to mine. The groan that came from her stirred inside me but I wasn't about to let that stop me.

I gently lay my chest against her feeling her soft breasts crumple against my stone body. The heat was intense. It seemed to fuel the desire that I was feeling making me kiss her harder. Realising the slight slip that I'd made I lifted my mouth from her. 'God, what you do to me Bella' I moaned closing my eyes. I wanted to kiss, lick and feel every part of her but I had to be careful. I moved my mouth down to her throat, flicking my tongue against her skin, down further till I reached the top of her right breast. My hands stroked the smooth skin underneath them, making slow circles until I cupped her and brought her nipple to my mouth. The taste was incredible. I moaned feeling the muscles in my neck tense, venom swelled in my mouth but I didn't care.

'Edward' Bella breathed arching her back feeding me more of what I wanted. 'Oh god…' I murmured against her skin. I raised my body and rested it between her thighs. The warmth that I could feel from her centre was almost inconceivable, a siren call for my body that I was finding harder to resist. Without even thinking I pushed my groin against her, moving to her other breast tasting her, rolling my tongue once more around her nipple feeling it harden between my lips.

'I love you Edward' was all that registered as I pushed against her once more. My groin ached. I wanted her, wanted to be in her. My hands grappled with her breasts, kneading them against my mouth. I wanted to consume her, have her always and it was only as the growl snuck from my chest that I realised I was about to do just that. My muscles tensed further all the way from my legs, my chest to the arms that held her. Without me noticing Bella's legs had snaked around my thighs pushing me to her. I tried to speak, 'Bella…please…' but she took this as an encouragement lifting her hips to meet me again. The beast within me snarled controlling my hand that grasped her body to me. Her breasts moved with the urgency of her breathing bringing her to my mouth again and again.

_Stop Edward! _

With more force than I intended I pushed myself off her, hissing and growling, grabbing her wrists and throwing them down on the bed above her head. Her legs released me immediately. My breathing was erratic matching hers breath for breath. It was only as I began to focus properly that I noticed the reflection of my eyes in hers. Black as night and ready for the feeding my body suddenly craved. Bella opened her mouth to speak, but I forced my eyes shut and shook my head rapidly. 'Give me…a minute' I managed swallowing back the venom that pooled around my gums.

Slowly and surely my breathing returned to normal and as it did my grip on her wrists loosened. I felt the shadows retreat back down to my core. I opened my eyes to see Bella. Here it comes I thought, the running and screaming. But all I saw was concern and love. It suddenly hit me with a force I could barely fathom. She was my angel, my light in the darkness that swam within me and at that moment I knew that with her by my side I could conquer anything. Even myself. She smiled a reassuring smile, letting me know in her own way that I hadn't hurt her. She was ok.

There were no words bar three that seemed right at that moment. 'I love you' I breathed bending my forehead to hers. 'I know' she replied. I smiled then, placing my lips gently to hers then moved to her side so that we were face to face.

After a brief moment like that she placed her hand on my face, 'Edward' she whispered her breath warm against my face. 'Yes sweetheart?' I wasn't sure whether I'd be able to give her the answer that she wanted but I silently vowed I would try my hardest.

'Would it be ok if you held me now?'

I laughed softly, a slight relief washing through me. 'Bella my love, I will hold you for as long as you want.' And with that I placed my arm around her pulling her to my chest knowing that as long as I held her against me all would be right in the world.

**Well there you have it – part 2. *peeks through splayed fingers***

**A little more Lemon for you but I've again tried to keep in the character as much as possible, but let me know what you think. **

**Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed so far – they've really meant a lot and will inspire me to keep going.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey folks just a quick note to say a big thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story so far. Your feedback and your ideas are great so cheers!**

**I've decided with this next chapter that I'm going to focus more on Edward, on his own.**

**The reason being that the whole premise of the story is that he is battling with his inner demons and although Bella is the catalyst, he can only fully obsess to his hearts delight when he's alone.**

**Please let me know what you think by reviewing. The more feedback I get the easier it is for me to organise my ideas. **

***flexes fingers***

**The Division**

_Dichotomy:__ A division or contrast between two things that have polar or opposite qualities_

There are many words that have been used, by me and others, to best describe who or, more importantly, what I am. Dictionaries, thesauruses and encyclopaedias' are full to the brim with adjectives and nouns that hasten to slap me with a label. Trust me, I know, I've read them all. But I have yet to find one that contains a word that fits right. It would be very easy to leave it at vampire and have done, but that would, annoyingly, only cover the proverbial iceberg tip.

That only covered one part of me. The part that I forced down deep, locking it away tightly. I needed more, other words to describe the other side of me. The opposite side. The more human side. Because, if I'm honest, this side had begun to show itself more and more recently. A fact that thrilled as much as it terrified me. All because of the most precious thing in my life. Bella. Without even trying, it seemed she had awoken the man in me that I'd thought was lost over a century ago. She had awoken other things too. More dangerous, darker elements but again that was the half of my being that I'd been desperately trying to ignore. The part that I was determined to suppress to nothing so that I could be the man I wanted to be for her. The man that could give her everything she would ever want – in every way.

So now I had become the one looking for labels for this newly discovered piece of myself and to tell you the truth it was a hard task. If you had asked me to think of words to describe my Bella for instance I would have no problem in spouting words like beautiful, kind, fearless, selfless and excruciatingly stubborn. See, easy. But for me it was a lot more difficult.

It's always easier to start with the more negative words that I apply to myself, not surprisingly, as I have been told by my family repeatedly I'm a fairly negative being by nature. Seeing only the bad aspects of myself and my situation. I have tried, not very hard admittedly, to be less obstinate in my view but then certain things will happen or situations will arise that result in my negativity snapping right back in place.

So there we have it **– word #1 – negative**.

My musings it seemed had not gone unnoticed by Emmett who stood in the door way of the living room where I was currently slouched on the sofa. Leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest and a knowing smirk lingering on his face, I knew what was coming next.

'Ah how sweet young love is eh?' He sighed, accentuating his amusement with a roll of his eyes. As much as I love my brother, and I do, it is always hard not to chastise him for his one tracked mind. But I took much comfort in the knowledge that everything that came out of his mouth was not only honest but heart-felt. His mind, although sometimes smutty, was like an open book, no falseness, no suspicion. To Emmett a spade was always a spade.

'Mmm' I replied half-heartedly leaning my head against the back of the couch raising my eyes to the ceiling.

'Oh come on bro, school'll be out in less than…' he raised his wrist to look at his watch.

'4 hours and 26 minutes' I finished for him.

Maybe that could be **word #2 – impatient.**

The reason we weren't at school was due to an unprecedented sunny day in Forks. As vampires, the sun was not helpful in our quest to remain unnoticed, making our skin, not burn to black ash, but rather sparkle and shine unnaturally, refracting like strobe lights.

Beautiful; I'd once been told.

Definitely _not_ my choice for**word #3**.

Emmett dropped his arm to his side, swinging it slightly back and forth. He pushed himself off the door frame and made his way over to me throwing himself down on the sofa with enough force to make me lift a little.

'Edward ya know I love ya, but seriously, lighten up. It's only a few hours and then you an' your little Bella will be together again and all will be well.' He punched my knee lightly trying to alleviate the morose feeling that I knew crept out of every part of my body. I knew he meant well and his heart was in the right place but his words only seemed to exacerbate the dark mood I'd found myself in since creeping out of Bella's bedroom before she left for school that morning. I'd wanted so much to ask her to take the day off with me so that I could have her to myself, but knowing the conscientious academic Bella was I knew she'd refuse.

I let out a quick huff down my nose as I thought about my feelings this morning. I slowly folded my arms across myself in an attempt to deflect any more of Emmett's words of wisdom. I knew I was being selfish. I knew I was being unreasonable. How could I possibly get worked up that Bella, the love of my life, would want to go to school and get an education? That was what I wanted wasn't it? For her to study hard, get the grades and get into college. Yes it most definitely was, as I knew that this plan in particular would mean that Bella would remain human for a little longer. And that's what I wanted too wasn't it? For her to stay human, warm and blushing. Easy answer again: yes. But I knew, in all honesty, that this wasn't what was really bugging me.

I was distracted out of my mental gymnastics by a loud guffaw; I could only guess was supposed to be laughter that reverberated from Emmett's chest. I lolled my head to the side to look at him furrowing my brow in confusion. 'What?'

'I'm sorry Edward but you look like your trying to figure out the hardest maths equation in the world! Either that or your the first vampire in history to suffer from trapped wind!' he chuckled against his knuckle trying his hardest to stop. I found myself smirking with him. He was right, I was distant and it wasn't fair on him or the rest of my family to be this way when they had to put up with me for the whole day.

Bingo! – **word #3 – selfish**

'I'm sorry Emm' I smiled as best as I could leaning forward resting my elbows on my knees 'What's the plan of action?' Emmett was at his most garrulous and creative when he had to come up with some way of passing the time when Rosalie was not in the immediate vicinity. 'Where is Rosalie anyway' I asked looking round as if I'd just realised there was just the two of us.

'Her, Alice and a very obedient and patient Jasper have gone to rainy Seattle for the 'sale of the century'' he lifted his fingers and made quotation marks in the air 'No idea what that means but they seemed pretty excited about it, well, at least Rose and Alice did.' Emmett shook his head thinking about Jasper trailing behind two demon shoppers for the entire day. _He's nuts. _Yeah I had to agree with his thoughts there.

'So' I said slapping my hands to my thighs 'Come on! How are we going to pass the next 4 hours and 13 minutes?' I'd never admit it out loud but I'd been silently counting the seconds for the past 13 minutes.

A possible winner for **word #4 – obsessive. **Yeah that one definitely fits.

'Well I was thinking and I'm just spit-balling here, that first I give your ass a good whoopin' on the X-Box, then we go and hunt us some food coz, I gotta be honest, I'm starving!' Emmett pouted slightly and rubbed his stomach in small baby-like circles. It had the desired effect as I found myself laughing whilst shaking my head at him.

'How about we skip the X-Box and go straight to food?' I suggested 'I could use some sustenance myself.' It suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't been hunting for a good week, having not been able to pull myself away from Bella for long enough. 4 hours 10 minutes, _my god_ that sounded a long time!

'Oh yeah' Emmett winked 'Bella been working you hard has she the little minx?' I cringed inwardly biting back a sarcastic retort that would open the flood gates of Emmett's not so subtle thoughts on such matters. It was bad enough that I heard these without him opening his mouth! I knew from experience that asking or even mentioning anything to do with that part of mine and Bella's relationship to him was a little like a 3 year old learning his A, B, C's from an encyclopaedia – a little too much information all at once. 'Yeah something like that' I mumbled, standing from the sofa and heading towards the back door.

I had to admit though that this was the crux of the situation. The thing that was troubling me the most. Now that the human in me had been stirred I was finding it increasingly difficult to stay focused with Bella. Primal urges and fiendish impulses aside, I couldn't help but feel slightly overwhelmed by the feelings of desire that she had introduced me to, especially over the last couple of weeks. Our physical relationship had been given, by all accounts, a vigorous shunt into what I deemed dangerous ground. We had begun to bare ourselves to each other, literally and metaphorically. And as much as I had wanted this to happen, as much as I had loved the feel of her against me, her skin, her breasts I had been so lost in the desire and need for her that the lock holding my less human side back had all but disintegrated. Twice.

**Word #5 – weak.** Mm possible?

The undeniable battle that raged within me was beginning to drain me. Not physically you understand, as that was impossible, but mentally I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. On the one hand I was a 17 year old man, desperately in love with a woman who wanted me just as much as I wanted her, who had freely offered herself to me with little or no hesitation. The man inside me had reacted to this in all the ways that he should have. And I do mean _all_ the ways. The utter need for Bella at that moment had hit me like a tidal wave and when I'd started to give in, before the darkness had nearly taken hold of me, I'd felt like I'd been dipped in holy water. The siren call of her body was astounding, the heat, the scent, everything made me feel more human than I could ever remember. But ironically it was the same two things that had beckoned to my vampire instincts.

The bloodlust I felt for Bella had always been there from the very first moment I met her. She knew this but accepted me without a second thought. Even during our intimate moments, when the creature was on a looser leash, she had refuted and rebuffed all the apologies I had made. The blackness of my eyes, the venom within my mouth and the tightening of my muscles were all linked intrinsically to the animalistic part of me that wanted to devour her. The siren call of her blood seemed to match the one for her body step for step.

**Word #6 – divided**. Without a doubt

Sitting down on an ancient rock, my thirst thoroughly quenched by the two elk and one uncooperative boar, it was easy to surmise that I was strong enough. That I could be decisive and control my craving for Bella's blood. That I could be the human Edward that I'd thought was long forgotten. Easy it certainly was, but true? It unnerved me that the only way I would find that out would be to continue to allow myself the pleasure of her, one bit at a time. But the giving of freedom to one desire would surely mean the freedom of the other. The man and vampire danced a dangerous dance, spiralling and twirling, making my head feel like a giant Spiro graph.

I jumped as Emmett touched my shoulder. 'Jeez Edward you're so tightly wound. Maybe I was wrong about Bella working you too much, the opposite seems more likely!' I sucked in a deep breath tightening my fingers into the rock, feeling it give way in my hands. 'Emmett' I growled 'Please just, you know, don't be you for a minute?' I could have bitten my own tongue off as the words slipped out seeing his face fall ever so slightly. 'Oh Emm, I'm sorry I didn't mean that, it's just I've got a lot on my mind. I appreciate you trying to cheer me up really I do. I just fear it won't work.' I lifted the side of my mouth in an effort to smile.

Emmett sighed, 'Edward, I know you think that I only think about one thing when it comes to relationships but it's not. Granted I enjoy that side of it very much. Very, very much in fact…' I could see this was going to be a long conversation 'Emmett?' I urged motioning with my hand to move on 'The point?'

'Oh yeah, well my point is that there are times when I just like to…you know…hold her. There is nothing in the world that makes me feel more human and alive than the feeling of Rose nestled in my arms. It makes me feel safe. Loved. Complete.' I watched with an air of disbelief as Emmett's eyes closed and a small smile crept over his face. I didn't disturb him. I knew that he was thinking about that very thing and I suddenly realised how much I wanted and needed Bella nestled against me.

Slowly he opened his eyes and looked at me with a hint of embarrassment. 'I can't begin to understand the amount of control that it takes for you to be near Bella, knowing how much you love her. But I can understand the emotions that that love brings and Edward you need to embrace it. Stop being afraid of it.' I knew what he was saying made sense in his head but it seemed so obtuse out loud. I smiled wryly looking out through the trees.

'That's just it Emmett, I want to embrace it, I need to embrace it, I need to embrace her, in every way. But my control is just not up to it. I've never felt more weak.' I shook my head in remorse feeling the weight of the words I'd just spoken hang around my neck like a poison chalice. Emmett's laughter was as surprising as it was loud.

**Word #7 – pissed.** Undeniably!

I looked at him in disgust. He had no idea at all. I huffed and sprang to my feet only to meet him head on. 'Get out of my way' I growled. He didn't move. 'Now Emmett, I mean it' I wasn't going to fight my brother at all but I needed to get away from him so I could calm myself down. He shook his head. 'Not until you listen to me Edward' I took a deep breath through my teeth, clenching my jaw tight. I looked squarely at him. 'Fine' I responded in barely a whisper.

'First, I wasn't laughing at you.' I smiled sarcastically but didn't speak as I realised that his thoughts hadn't contradicted his statement. 'I was laughing at your complete lack of self belief' He placed his hands on my shoulders, 'Edward, bar Carlisle you are the strongest, most determined, focused person I've ever met. You see what you want and you go for it, even if it's bad for you. I, we, have never seen you as happy and content as you have been since you've been with Bella. Every time I see you together and you both get that vomit inducing glaze over your eyes it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.' He grinned. This I had to laugh at.

'You love her yeah?' I nodded despondently 'That sickly I want you always and forever type love?' I nodded again with a faint chuckle. 'Then, tell me Edward, what on earth makes you think that you would ever hurt her?' His hands moved off my shoulders slowly. He crossed his arms over his chest seemingly satisfied that he'd brought me up short. I did love her, more than my life's worth. I'd do anything for her, always. And I hadn't hurt her had I? Both times I'd thought I would lose it I had managed to remain focused bringing myself back. That showed strength didn't it? That showed that I could control the evil within me? Maybe I'd been so focused on what I couldn't do that I'd forgotten to see what I could.

Maybe I didn't need to be so divided. Maybe I could be a whole. Could it be possible that the man inside me was strong enough to restrain the vicious shadows that lurked deep down? I still wasn't 100% sure but what I did know was that I suddenly felt calmer. Almost hopeful. It would never be completely without effort on my part. And Bella's life would always be at some sort of risk but I now started to feel vaguely optimistic. It must have shown on my face as Emmett laughed softly, 'Come on Romeo,' He grinned. I found myself running back to the house faster and harder than I ever had leaving Emmett grumbling and cursing far behind me.

It seemed so strange to be finally running to something with purpose as opposed to running away in fear. The purpose was easy to identify; Bella. It wouldn't happen over night, of that I was sure but I knew that through Emmett's words I had found a small avenue I could use to express my love and need for her without the constant fear of doing something wrong. Faith. Faith in myself. Faith in the love that I had for her. It had to be enough.

I entered the house and darted for the stairs to my room, finding myself looking into the mirror on the wall. It was silly to think that with this epiphany I would look any different, but as I looked closer I could have sworn I saw the animal in me retreat back locking the cage door as he went leaving the faint outline of a 17 year old man in his place.

**Well there you go – I really enjoyed writing this, especially with Emmett there too!**

**What do you think? *smiles warily* **

**I didn't want to have Edward change completely but slowly and surely. And I've tried my hardest to keep it in character.**

**I'm thinking the next chapter may be a little more Lemony but let me know if you think otherwise.**

**Please review it definitely makes me all warm and fuzzy inside!! Chow for now x**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey folks thanks, love and hugs again for all your reviews, they're really key to helping me organise all my ideas when I hear what you want and like (plus it's an ego boost ;) ) – So once again you rock!!!**

**A couple of people have asked for a Bella chapter which I may do later but for now I want it to be Edward's story – Bella may get a say when the story gets a little more Lemony!?**

**And with Lemons in mind I'd like to present Chapter 4…**

**One small step for…man?**

**EPOV**

Fear is a strange concept to me.

Being what I am and understanding what I am capable of, it seems silly to even suggest that there are things in the world that would pose a threat to me and therefore make me afraid. No man or beast would fare well in a confrontation with me, should I so wish it. And it was with this unconscious knowledge that both kept their distance from me at all times.

Apart from one. One that, I'd realised, fit into neither category. One that instigated reactions in my body that made me very afraid.

Bella Swan.

She knew all about my darker nature. She was well versed in the capabilities of my primal instincts and yet, she remained determined to stay with me. Near me. Never shying away from me or showing fear. If anything and this had baffled me, she did the complete opposite. She wanted to be near me, wanted to touch me, wanted to hold me and with every fibre of my being I wanted it too. I'd been warring with this fact ever since, well honestly, the first time I'd spoken to her, worrying that my demons would be too much and triumph over me at the crucial moment, but now it seemed I was finally coming to grips with both my desire for her blood and her body.

It had occurred to me that there was a way to have one without the other. Have Bella as a woman and not succumb to her exquisite blood. One step at a time. Baby-steps she'd called it. So that's what we'd been doing. Taking it slow. Granted it was the hardest test of patience and self control I have ever experienced but to have Bella's naked skin against mine as she breathed my name was, without doubt, the sexiest most erotic moment of my life. And, I admitted to myself guiltily, I wanted more.

I could feel the warmth radiating from her as I manoeuvred, ever so slightly, in my chair so that our arms were almost touching. I sighed gently at the familiar sensation of the electricity that surged from her skin to mine. I glanced at her, too quickly for her to notice, to see that, although she was trying to concentrate on English class, her face carried an almost frustrated expression. This made me smile. I was prepared to accept the fact that she was as perturbed about our situation as I was. But being Bella she had never once pushed, teased or provoked me into doing anything that I'd call risky. But to realise that she wanted me as much as I wanted her filled my body with an overwhelming sense of satisfaction.

She _wanted _me. No-one else. Me.

I couldn't help but turn my head towards Mike Newton and give him a smirk and a wink realising that sticking my tongue out wouldn't be the most mature decision. He could make of it what he wanted. I chuckled softly as his thoughts towards me went from scathing to vitriolic in seconds. It still amazed me that Bella didn't recognise the almost hypnotic effect she had on the boys at our school. Even though she had attended Forks High for nearly a year the fantasies that many of the males had about her had hardly waned at all. Understandably they still pissed me off. It was hard to see guys put Bella in certain…situations and imagine her doing what they wanted. I remembered a couple of months back when, as I'd walked down the corridor with Bella, one of the more graphic images of her had erupted from the grotesque mind of a snivelling junior. It had taken all my energy to stop myself from grabbing the back of his head and ramming it through his locker door. Bella had noticed nothing other than the tightening of my hand around hers.

What disgusted me most, more even than the actual fantasies themselves, was that these cretins didn't want to please _her_. In their daydreams the boy in question would almost always be the one receiving the pleasure, never offering it. This not only infuriated me but confused me immensely. How could they look at Bella, see her beauty, her softness and innocence and not want to please her? Pleasure her so that she'd never want anyone else, make her moan in ecstasy and satisfy every need her body had and then do it all over again. These were my daydreams and I was determined to make them a reality. I knew that if I could give Bella what she desired then it would be another step for us towards a fully physical relationship and that was what we both desired most. We loved each other, of that there was no doubt, but personally I wanted to express my love to Bella through different ways and not just through the chaste kisses and brief touches that we had experienced so far. I smiled at the thought.

'Do I get to hear the joke?' I turned to see Bella frowning at my goofy grin putting her books into her bag. I'd not realised that the bell had gone for the end of class

'No joke.' I shook my head slowly whilst standing, still smiling at her. 'I was just thinking of you and it made me smile.'

Her frown disappeared as the beautiful blush swept over her skin. She looked down to the floor almost embarrassed. I put my hand under her chin and raised her face. I moved very slowly putting my mouth to just below her ear and chuckled softly at the increased speed of her heart. 'You are so beautiful Bella.' I whispered allowing my breath to snake around her soft neck. She sucked in a breath and released it gradually, trying her hardest to disguise its raggedness. I loved that I did this to her, that I had this effect on her. My whole body loved it. And yes I do mean my whole body! This was the repeated effect she had on me, but I'd found myself start to begrudge it less and less realising that it made me feel a little more human every time. A very male human at least!

_Asshole!_ I heard Mike Newton think as he trudged angrily past our table. Before he was out of view I moved my lips to Bella's crushing them to me, slightly harder than normal, running my hand down her back, and smoothing my thumb along the small piece of flesh that peeked above the waistband of her jeans. Bella threw her arms around my neck in response, groaning quietly into my mouth. _God_ I loved it when she did that. Asshole indeed! I pulled away laughing softly at Bella's astonished and flustered expression realising as I looked quickly that it matched Mike Newton's identically. 'Sorry about that.' I grinned knowing full well that I neither meant it nor needed to apologise in the first place. Bella didn't answer. She blinked a couple of times, raising her hands to place her hair behind her ears. 'Mm-hm' was all she said. I took that as a good sign.

As soon as we entered the corridor Alice bounding up to us, a knowing look dancing across her pixie face. _Don't interrupt and play along _she shouted to me through her thoughts. I frowned in confusion. 'Hey Edward, Bella.' She smiled at us both 'So Edward, you sure you'll be ok on your own this weekend?' She stared at me imploring me to keep up whatever the charade was. 'Erm…yes. I'm sure I'll be fine Alice.' Her grin widened, that was obviously the right answer. 'Oh good. We don't want you being lonely or bored whilst we're all in Denali.'

_Ask her!!_

It seemed Alice's thoughts could be as loud as her spoken voice.

_Come on Edward, ask Bella over!! _

Of course! Alice would have clearly seen my intentions for Bella in all my daydreaming during English. It bothered me that I couldn't decide whether I was disturbed or delighted that my sister had seen the things that I was going to be doing with Bella in order to make her plan work. 'Well,' I turned to Bella. 'I was waiting till we were alone to ask, but seeing as that never happens at school,' I gave Alice a stern look that she received with a knowing smirk. 'Bella would you like to come over tonight?' Her face gave nothing away. Her heart however kicked up another gear. I realised I didn't want her to feel pressured or nervous.

'You don't have to of course.' I assured her putting my hand on her cheek. 'I would like to spend some time alone with you over the weekend though, at some point, if that's ok? It doesn't have to be tonight.' Bella seemed surprised by this, 'Of course Edward.' She answered quickly then chuckled quietly before looking deeply into my eyes, 'Tonight's fine.' She smiled at me in a way that made my legs feel unstable. I took a deep breath tasting her scent. 'Good.' I answered simply. _You owe me_ were Alice's parting words as she skipped with satisfaction down the corridor. She wasn't wrong.

I dropped Bella off at home after school, kissing her softly in anticipation for the night ahead. The cover story for Charlie was that she was driving herself to the Cullen's house for a sleepover with Alice, as the men of the house were away for the night. Well it was nearly honest I suppose. My family were going to Denali for the weekend as two of Carlisle's oldest friends were renewing their wedding vows. It wasn't really feasible for me to go with Bella as there would be 'non-vegetarians' in attendance and I wasn't about to go without her.

'Why hadn't you mentioned this weekend before today?' I asked Alice, as she packed a bag, slightly peeved that she and the rest of my family had managed to keep it a secret from me. 'Well Edward we know what a worry wart you are and we didn't want you stressing out about it for a week, agonizing over if you would ask Bella over or not when it was just the two of you in the house, yadda, yadda.' She finished by rolling her eyes at me. It annoyed me how well they all knew me. It did make me feel anxious having her in the house on her own but the more I thought about it the more I understood that it wasn't anything other than excitement. I would have Bella all to myself. _All night_. No Charlie down the hall, no vampires within hearing range. Just us. I smiled at Alice and ruffled her hair, 'Well thanks' I mumbled. She laughed, grabbing her bag and hopping down the stairs, 'Yeah, yeah I love you too!'

By the time my family had left and I heard Bella's truck rumbling down the drive, I had managed to work myself up into a nervous wreck. Ridiculous really. I let out an almost hysterical laugh. A 107 year old blood sucking demon of the night scared witless by a 119 pound brunette. I was still laughing to myself as I opened the door stopping abruptly in response to what I saw. Bella stood on the doorstep looking more beautiful than I'd ever seen her.

Her hair was up in a soft twist, leaving four of five tendrils framing her face like chocolate waves. She had on a deep blue, v-neck top that clung to her body in ways I could only dream of, with black jeans that held her thighs and bottom like a second skin. 'Edward? You ok?' It took me a minute to realise I was staring without saying anything. I snapped my head up to meet her eyes, calming myself as quickly as I could. 'Yeah, yeah of course I'm fine. Come in.' I laughed nonchalantly hoping it would hide the desperate longing for her that now surged through my body.

I took her bag from her and placed it at the foot of the stairs. I turned to her slowly to see her face glowing with a hunger that matched mine perfectly. 'Come here' I whispered holding out my hand for her. She took it without hesitation flooding my hand and arm with heat. I pulled her against my chest putting her head under my chin, lowering my nose to her hair breathing her into me. The burn in my throat was there but was dulled by the hunger I had for her body. I was very much a man at this point, the vampire in me having retreated to much darker places within me.

I placed my hands on her face, holding her cheeks as I lowered my lips to hers. Slowly taking her in. I deepened the kiss, desperately wanting to touch her tongue with mine, but still not sure about the venom that resided there. Bella wanted the same, caressing my lip with her tongue, gently lifting my top lip with its tip. I couldn't hold back a soft moan at the sensations I was feeling. Bella's hands slipped down my back to the bottom of the black t-shirt I was wearing. She put her hands under the material and stroked my skin up to my shoulder blades, ever so often clutching me with her nails. My breathing hitched at the tightening that was occurring all over my body holding her face harder to mine, moving from her lips to her jaw, to her neck. Her scent was incredible, seemingly bursting from her skin every time I touched her.

I moved my hands to her back, slowly tracing to her minute waist with my fingers, feeling the curves and outlines of her body. She was perfect. I had to have more. I had to make her feel what I was experiencing, even a small part. A tenth? I'd take a tenth. I raised my hands to her breasts feeling them through the v-neck t-shirt that had left me almost breathless. I smiled against her skin as I felt her nipples harden through the fabric. As gently as I could I rubbed them tempting and teasing them out, determined to feel every part of her. With her head back as I kissed her neck, Bella moaned my name. The sound, the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard, was the only thing I needed to make me take her into my arms and up the stairs to the wrought iron bed in my room.

I lay above her my thighs on either side of hers, holding myself up with my hands at the side of her shoulders, looking down at her face. She seemed to be a little disorientated with the change of location. I had moved too fast for her. 'I'm sorry sweetheart. I didn't mean to scare you. I just had to get you here as quickly as I could.' It was the truth and I owed her that. She smiled at me, her eyes calm.

'You didn't scare me Edward.' Of course not I thought. 'It just surprised me that for the first time you seemed to read my mind.' She laughed then placing her hands on my face. I laughed with her delirious at the thought of her wanting me like I wanted her. We were kissing again. Long, drawn out and so, so warm. Her tongue I allowed to dart into my mouth feeling her body arch against mine every time I did. I never closed my eyes when I kissed Bella as I wanted to experience her reactions to me fully and as I opened my mouth once more to hers I saw her own eyes roll slightly back into her head. I had to be nearer to her. I left her lips and moved down to the hem of her top, lifting it with the kisses that I put on her smooth stomach. I licked and teased at the cream coloured skin tasting her strawberry scent on my tongue, the fruity taste beating and hammering the bitter taste of venom into submission.

My mouth trailed further up before Bella grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head. I smiled at her in surprise watching her chest heave with the deep breaths she was taking. 'I just had to take it off, sorry.' She said almost excusing her behaviour. 'God Bella' I growled 'Don't ever apologise for taking your clothes off!' I found myself pulling at her bra feeling the elastic of the straps give way under my strength leaving Bella bare breasted in front of me. It never ceased to take my breath away every time I saw her this way. So beautiful, soft and feminine. The lines and curves of her body sang to me just like her blood, an erotic orchestra of sensuality and desire.

Putting my mouth to her right breast I let my tongue dance around her nipple, carefully cupping my lips around it. She moaned, breathed and gasped my name, putting her fingers into my hair pulling me to her. I wanted her so badly. My groin ached for her, the erection I had strained against the denim of my jeans wanting to get to her, to feel more of her. But it wasn't time for that. Yet. Baby-steps. One small step at a time. My hands yearning to feel more, slowly made their way down her sides, over her stomach towards the button on her jeans. I suddenly felt Bella tense beneath me. With my tongue still on her nipple I looked at her. Under her heavy lashes her eyes were lustful, need permeated the thin membrane of each pupil. 'Do you want me to stop?' I had to ask, I still didn't trust myself to read her reactions to me 100%, especially in these circumstances.

With no words uttered Bella undid the button of her jeans, releasing a deep breath as she did as though the button had been holding her together. I smiled, my lips finding her mouth before resuming their dance with each of her breasts. My fingers clasped the small zip of her fly and pulled it down. With it down, a wave of her scent escaped, hitting me like a battering ram. This scent was so much more potent than the one I had gotten used to. Yes I had smelt it before, but it had always been masked by denim and cotton. This scent was free. No barriers holding it back. And it was beautiful. I tensed gripping her side with my free hand moulding my mouth to her breast harder, grunting softly into her skin. Bella didn't cry out in pain, I hadn't hurt her. Instead she arched herself to me allowing me to pull her jeans down fully throwing them across the room, my own shirt going with it.

I gently rested myself between her thighs holding her hips so that she couldn't move against me. That, after last time, may have been too much. I kissed her slowly, my tongue skating against her bottom lip growling against it with need. The sensation of her burning body next to mine was incredible. Held long enough I began to feel warm myself, a little more human every time.

'Bella?' I croaked. She smiled at me drawing her nails down my back making me arch slightly against her. She moaned in satisfaction. I looked at her evenly. 'Bella. Can I touch you? There?' I motioned with my eyes to the black panties that were the only things in the way of me being in the most precious and sacred place. She nodded at me, a ragged breath escaping with each one.

'Please Edward.' She sighed, closing her eyes. That was all the instruction I needed.

I moved so that I was kneeling up between her legs, looking down at the goddess before me. 'You will never know how beautiful you are to me Bella. Never.' One tenth I thought to myself. One tenth the desire, need, yearning. I wanted her to feel it too. I lifted my right hand placing my index finger against her forehead. Bella looked at me slightly puzzled as I gave her a knowing grin. I started to trace from her forehead down to the bridge of her nose, to the crease in her lip to her mouth. My finger seemingly taking a leisurely stroll down her body. I lifted my eyebrows as she opened her mouth to my finger, taking it in and sucking gently, her tongue circling the tip of it. My erection strengthened ten-fold pulsing with the electricity that sprinted from my finger around my body to my groin. I exhaled sharply, feeling my own eyes roll in my head. 'Oh God…' I breathed.

Focusing gradually on what I was doing I removed my finger from her mouth, grudgingly I'll admit, and continued down her chin to her neck. I slowed even more here feeling her pulse under the thin skin that lay there, smiling as the rhythm of it increased with every movement I made. I reached the hollow of her neck, feeling the skin retract with each hungered breath she took, down further, sliding against the soft skin between her breasts. My breathing increased, I so wanted to pause here and touch her again, but I knew that this was not where I truly wanted to touch. Bella felt it too, leaning her head back against the pillow, 'Edward,' she sighed. 'I want you so much.'

I wanted her too, 'I know baby,' I whispered reaching her belly button, finding myself putting my finger in it gently. She giggled quietly, 'That tickles,' she smiled. I laughed with her that would definitely be filed for a later date I thought to myself. The smile slinked off my face as I suddenly heard Bella's heart stutter again. I looked at her, almost losing myself in her chocolate eyes. She nodded at me, a simple instruction, permission, want for me to keep going.

My finger grazed down the line from her belly button to the top of her panties feeling the soft baby-like hair that rested there. My eyes never leaving hers I placed my finger under the elastic of them and pulled them down. This time the scent beat me around the head with the force of a baseball bat. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. I have to get use to this I thought to myself wryly, as I planned on doing it again and again.

'Are you ok Edward?' I doubt human ears would have heard her as her voice was so quiet.

I smiled at her reassuringly, opening my eyes very slowly. 'I've never been more fine sweetheart.' It was true. Here I was with the woman I loved, naked in front of me, intoxicating me with her body' desire for me and I was coping. Taking it in and winning. She blinked in acceptance of my statement. I know if I'd needed to she would have allowed me to stop, even though the smells and noises her body told me otherwise.

'I love you Bella.' And with that I ran my finger down to her.

Through the soft hair to the warm, wet flesh of her sex. Bella's back arched as she cried out louder than before, for a moment I thought I'd hurt her until I felt her skin pulsate under my hand. I ran my finger down the entire length of her and then back up to her clit, circling it slowly, looking to her face to make sure it was what she wanted. '_Jesus_ Bella,' I moaned 'You're so wet…it feels so good,' I could hardly get the words out, hardly breath, hardly believe that I was touching her in this way. The first person to _ever_ have touched her this way.

'Mm…Edward…oh…,' the words were not coming easy for either of us.

I continued to circle her clit, teasing it like I had her nipples, doing it again every time the reactions of her body told me it felt good. She moaned and breathed my name over and over. Her heart was hammering in her chest so hard that I did consider stopping. Almost.

I increased the speed of my fingers against her, trying to match the pounding of her heart smoothing her body's liquid over her folds, all the way up and all the way down. I wanted to bury myself in her. Taste her. Feel more of her. Her moans got louder as did my growls. Her body bent backwards, her hips writhing against my hand, her need for release taking control of her entirely. My other hand found her left breast and began to knead the flesh, teasing the nipple matching the rotations I was making on her clit.

'Edward…_uhnn_…Edward…oh _god_…,' She was panting, squeezing her eyes shut so tightly I feared they may never open again. This is what I wanted, this was my dream, my fantasy. I wanted her to feel pleasure, to want only me, to want only me to do this to her over and over again until she told me to stop. I wanted to satisfy her give her what she desired most.

My hand never leaving her clit or her breast I leaned over her putting my mouth to her ear. She grabbed hold of my arm, pushing herself onto my hand, desperate for the waves to hit her. 'Come for me Bella…please come…I want to feel it on my hand,' I urged breathlessly into her ear. I wanted it more than anything in that moment, to see her at her most vulnerable, her most feminine. I slowly moved my finger from her clit to her entrance, pushing into her feeling the heat and wet as it travelled deep within her.

'Ohh…Ed…ward…_yes_…,' open mouthed, she ground harder and harder onto my finger, grabbing onto my other shoulder as I slipped another into her wanting to fill her, feel her. She had never looked more stunning.

'Oh Bella, you're so beautiful,' I breathed 'Feeling you on my hand…oh _god_…,' I kissed her neck licking at the pulse that throbbed under her skin. Her body twisted and writhed, lifting from the bed, her nails digging into my arm and shoulder until for a second she stilled.

Paused.

Held a breath.

It took the time it took for me to look at her to make sure she was ok, to feel a surge of heat, moisture and pulsing emit from every part of her body. The noise she made as she came was the most erotic sound I have ever heard, almost painful, animal. She panted and moaned my name, grabbing at me, at herself and the bed. She was lost in the pleasure I had given her, swimming through it. I kept my fingers in her stroking her slowly, moaning with every contraction of the skin surrounding them. Her heart had become an endless humming sound that hit with such force that the skin on her chest lifted and settled over and over again. I had never imagined I'd love her as much as I did in that moment, as I kissed her, her cheeks, her eyes, her lips, tasting her sweat, salty and fresh like sea water.

Her breathing began to ease and her body slowly relaxed onto the bed. I gently took my hands from her, moving so that my arm was under her neck. Before she opened her eyes I lifted my fingers to my mouth and sucked each one. Savouring her taste of strawberries, lavender, a hint of vanilla and another, new, sensual essence that I vowed I would experience again and again. When there was none left, I stroked her stomach, tracing up to her ribs and down to her hip bone.

She opened her eyes and looked at me. I noticed that there was something different about them. They were still as gorgeous, but they didn't look as…focused? Concentrated? Not as tense? It suddenly occurred to me that she had been holding back too. For me. She had resisted me, never pushing the limits of my control till I was ready and now she had released it the light that surged from her eyes was magical.

'Hey,' I grinned 'Welcome back.'

She blushed outrageously and I laughed at the mortified expression on her face. 'No, no Bella don't you dare be embarrassed.' I held her face in my hands inches from mine. 'I have never seen you look so magnificent, so glorious.' I kissed her lips gently, moaning at the warmth of them. 'And I promise you that I will spend every moment we have together on seeing it again.' I gazed at her hoping that the hunger I felt for her was clear on my face. She reached for me stroking her fingers down the side of my cheek to my neck.

'Thank you,' she whispered kissing me again.

'Sweetheart you are more than welcome.' I answered pulling her under the sheets with me, holding her against my chest, ecstatic at the fact that she was still naked. I felt her relax more and more as I tickled her back, sweeping my fingers over her skin. I kissed her forehead, licking my lips, revelling in the salty taste once more.

'I love your sweaty taste,' I smiled. Bella's head snapped up looking completely offended.

'What?! My sweat?' she rubbed her hand across her head 'That's disgusting, I'm all sweaty.'

I laughed at her attempts to wipe herself dry, 'Here,' I chuckled holding her wrist for fear she may have rubbed the skin off, 'I tell you what I'll do. I'll lick you all over your body making sure that there is no sweat left. How about that?' I found myself almost purring the words at her. Her heart skipped a beat again as she relaxed and smiled at me.

'Tempting,' she whispered snuggling to my ear 'But how about a shower instead?'

Disappointment washed over me at the thought of her leaving me whilst she showered until I felt her hand pull me to get up. Standing up from the bed I suddenly realised what she wanted. My silent heart shuddered and my lungs squeezed inside my chest. We looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity before she turned from me, her hand firmly grasping mine, leading me to the bathroom.

**So what ya think?? It turned out longer than I thought but I kinda think it works? Yey/Ney?**

**My first real Lemony Lemon so please let me know if ya think I've done ok.**

**Please review – I'm thinking Bella's POV next but if you have any other ideas or thoughts please don't hesitate. **

**TTFN x x x x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow – you guys are great! I'm definitely feeling the love which is awesome, so thanks again for the reviews. *blows kisses to everyone***

**I was super nervous about the last chapter but with the feedback I got it made it all worth while. **

**I've decided this chapter is going to be from Bella's perspective which I'm a little worried about again as it's been done so amazing before – but hey risk is good right? It may be slightly shorter too but no biggy…**

**Hop,Skip,Jump**

There were really only three words that I could think of at that moment.

_Oh. My. God._

Not very creative I'll admit but each word somehow captured the unbelievable feelings and the pounding sensations that my body was experiencing. I never would have believed that my body was capable of withstanding the forces that ripped through it as Edward touched me. The heat that surged over my skin, setting me literally ablaze, the thumping of my heart, so hard I thought it would leap out of my chest and find somewhere to hide. The tightening of my lungs as Edward stroked and caressed me was so intense it was borderline painful and my bones, which now felt like marshmallow, had bent and flexed in such a way that I subconsciously waited for the inevitable snapping and breaking of each one.

I'd read about women experiencing love in so many ways, books, magazine articles, even the internet but, I thought a little smugly, there was no way anyone had ever gone through what I just had. No-one who had ever been as in love as I was right now. It wasn't possible.

As I'd come down from the incredible waves of pleasure that had struck me from the core of my body and up, I couldn't help but feel peaceful. I'd wanted Edward for so long now, in so many different ways. Of course I had him. He did belong to me. I knew that we were so intrinsically linked that no force on earth or otherwise could break us apart. But because of what Edward was we had always had to be careful when it came to showing our love physically. I'd wanted to touch him in places no-one else had and make him feel like never before but I was also painfully aware of his desires for not only my body but also my blood. I'd had to hold back and let him lead whenever we touched or kissed knowing that any sign of my true yearning for him could send him over the edge.

But it was different now. I was different now.

He had managed to touch me in completely new ways. Ways that made the hair on my arm stand up and my breathing stutter. He had touched me so completely that I couldn't believe we had both resisted for so long. Touched me in places no-one else had and in turn made those places his own. I couldn't imagine letting anyone but Edward see me this way. I felt calm but also vulnerable, but I knew that I trusted him with my life and understood that he would look at me and my reactions to him with only love.

I felt his arm under my neck holding me close to him, suddenly very aware that I was completely naked. But that was ok, I thought to myself, this is Edward. My Edward. I slowly opened my eyes to see his glorious face inches from mine, I smiled sleepily at him.

'Hey,' he smiled back at me his face no longer etched with any sign of restraint. He, it seemed, felt as free as I did. 'Welcome back.'

I felt myself cringe against him. I'd experienced something so incredible, so powerful and mind-blowing that I hadn't been able to control my body at all. The whole time my body had belonged to him. He controlled my reactions, playing my body like his piano, and like his piano, my body had responded to every movement of his fingers and hands. It suddenly dawned on me what he would have seen, me flailing about with reckless abandon! I seemed to remember crying out for him, to never stop touching me, to hold me as I felt my body peer over the precipice of delirium. All I felt now was completely mortified. I felt the blush burn across my face.

Edward pulled himself to me holding my face in his hands, his fingers feeling extra cold against the heat of my blush. 'No, no Bella don't you dare be embarrassed.' I tried to look away from him but he held me firm. 'I have never seen you look so magnificent, so glorious.' He pulled my lips to his, a new sense of urgency pulsed between us, he moaned quietly into my mouth making my body tremble against his cold chest. He pulled away his eyes burning with a desire and hunger so sensual that I had to swallow back a sigh. 'And I promise you that I will spend every moment we have together on seeing it again.' I knew he meant it. My body knew he meant it too as I felt it start to tingle from the top of my head to the ends of my toes. I stroked the side of his face, his beautiful face. His amber eyes gazing at me with all the love I had hoped for.

'Thank you' I whispered as I kissed him, hoping that he would realise I meant it for more than what he had just given me. I meant it for everything.

'Sweetheart you are more than welcome,' he answered pulling me under the warm covers of his bed, stroking my back so gently that I could feel myself start to drift off to sleep. I was so happy.

I smiled as he kissed my forehead, 'I love your sweaty taste,' he breathed. My eyes flew open and I looked at him in horror. I put my hand to my head feeling the little drops of perspiration that lay on my skin. I rubbed my hand vigorously against it. 'What?! My sweat? That's disgusting. I'm all sweaty!' He laughed holding my wrist.

'Here, I tell you what I'll do.' He paused glancing at my body, 'I'll lick you all over your body making sure that there is no sweat left. How about that?' The tingling set off around my body again, turning slowly into a smoulder that rushed between my legs. My heart pounded in my chest and my lungs suddenly felt two sizes too small for my chest. It suddenly hit me how much I wanted to give him a taste of the pleasure he had given me. I wanted to hear him groan my name, hold on to me as I took him to new places of over whelming bliss, see his body react to an incredible orgasm. I needed to see, hear, touch and taste him. I suddenly felt more in control than I ever have with Edward.

I snuggled against his ear, trying to make my voice as sensual as possible, 'Tempting. But how about a shower instead?' I pushed back the covers and got up off the bed, not caring that I was fully naked in front of him. His eyes prowled down my body, increasing the heat between my legs, I wanted him so much. He didn't move, not realising the intention behind my words. I slowly reached for his hand and pulled him up from the bed so that he was standing in front of me, his chest inches from mine.

Suddenly a flicker of understanding danced behind his eyes and his face relaxed into an expression so seductive and ravenous that it took all my effort not to throw myself at him. Safe in the knowledge that he understood what I wanted and hadn't turned me down and with a determination and confidence I didn't know I was capable of I turned from him leading him to the en suite bathroom.

The tiles of the bathroom felt cool underfoot and helped to calm the pulsing heat that raged through my body. Edward's grasp never loosened or resisted, as I knew full well that should he resist he would have no problem in pulling from me and becoming as impossible to budge as a 10 storey building. But sure enough he followed me step for step, radiating nothing but calm, his face giving nothing away. I knew however that in terms of Edward this meant little. I silently cursed my very human body. With my erratic heart beat and my inclination to turn red at the drop of a hat, my emotions were plain for all to see, whether I wanted them to or not. I stopped in the middle of the bathroom next to the double walk-in shower that seemed big enough for the population of Forks to wash in. I suddenly felt very small.

Deep breaths Bella. Take control.

'Bella?' Edward's voice, calm and quiet, broke into my mantra. I looked up at him to see his cool mask had slipped from his face which was now awash with different feelings, concern, desire, anxiety. He smiled slightly as he placed his hand on my cheek, 'We don't have to do anything you don't want to Bella. Please don't think that you need to do anything other than just being with me to make me happy.' He bent down slowly to kiss me, his hands snaking around my ribs to my back, holding me tight to his chest. I loved him so much in that moment. Loved him and wanted him. I'd come into the bathroom to show him the scale of both and by god I thought, very much determined, I was going to!!

I raised my hands to his face and pulled myself to him, feeling him hold me tighter as I did. His cool skin against me sent shivers up my spine that felt like electric jolts. Our kiss deepened as I flicked my tongue across his lips, desperate for him to let me enter his mouth. I knew he wouldn't let me, but I could tempt him none the less. He breathed heavily washing my with his sweet breath that made me clutch him harder. The smoulder between my legs suddenly ignited to a full scale inferno and I moaned as the heat of it contorted through my stomach.

'_Bella_…_mmm_…,' Edward's breathing was heavy and ragged as I continued from his lips to his neck, leaving small kisses down his throat, nibbling on his Adam's apple as I went. His skin tasted like honey, sweet and cool. I let my tongue flick over his skin taking him in, wanting to feel all of him. My hands trailed from his face down his neck to his shoulders, grasping the thick muscles that had tensed with his grasp of me. The thought of the strength that lay dormant there added extra fuel to the fire within me. Moving down his biceps to his forearms, feeling the tendons moving as his fingers and hands moved against my back. I lifted my hands from there placing them against his chest pushing him back with a gentle nudge. He pulled from me, and I noticed an almost devastated look cross his beautiful, amber eyes.

I giggled quietly and kissed the tip of his nose. 'Close your eyes,' I whispered, feeling a growl rumble deep within his chest. He did as I asked with a long breath through his nose, a smile dancing on his lips. I kept my touch feather light as I outlined the curves of his muscles on his chest, feeling the cool marble of his skin glide beneath my fingers. I moved to his nipples, circling around the darker flesh there. He breathed in deeply, grabbing gently for my waist. I moved away again, 'Uh, uh no touching Mr Cullen.' I smiled at my sudden bout of confidence and the huff that left Edward's lips.

I moved my hands down the middle of his stomach, outlining every curve and groove of him, astonished at his beauty and perfection. No scars, lumps or blemishes, just silky soft granite. 'You are so beautiful Edward,' I breathed more to myself than to him. His breathing suddenly stopped. Looking to his face then to my hands I realised that they were at the waistband of his jeans. His eyes remained closed, a fact which encouraged me to reach for the button.

I looked down to push it through the hole and my breath caught in the back of my throat as I noticed how turned on Edward was. The power that I felt before suddenly tripled and surged to my hands, where I found myself pulling his zip down grazing his hardness gently with my knuckle. I wanted to see him, feel him in my hands. My heart hammered in my chest as he moaned softly at the release he must have felt as his jeans were opened. I put my hands at either side of his waist holding the denim in my hands and slowly pushed his jeans down, letting my thumbs stroke the skin of his hips, thighs and calves as I went. The heat and moisture between my legs was becoming unbearable but I knew that I had to take my time with him. He was letting me take control for once and I couldn't damage that trust by being frivolous.

With his eyes still firmly closed he stepped out of his jeans, stepping backwards. I stood and took in his form. His black boxer briefs clung to him accentuating him in all the right places. His erection pressed against the fabric and without thinking. He was so exquisite. I nearly grabbed for him.

Deep breaths, Bella.

'One sec…,' I whispered sneaking by him to the shower where I pushed all three of the buttons that were on the wall. Hot water shot from the four separate shower heads above me, hitting my skin hard enough to make a slapping sound. I turned around to go back to Edward to find him stood in the door way of the shower, completely naked. His face wore an expression that I had never seen before. It meandered somewhere between excitement, anger and need. If I'm honest it frightened me.

He moved silently towards me, his eyes never leaving mine. Without realising I took a timid step back so that the water was hitting the back of my head. His eyes looked to my feet and then back to my face, a smirk appeared on his lips. 'Don't tell me the brave and fearless Miss Swan is nervous about her naked, vampire, boyfriend cornering her in the shower?' he chuckled, moving again so slowly I almost doubted he had.

'No of course not,' I smiled, thankful that my voice didn't betray me.

'Good,' he whispered, the need becoming more prominent on his face, 'Because I love you Bella and I want you so much right now that I don't think I could turn and leave this shower.' My heart jumped up three speeds throwing me to him, so delirious in my want of him, I almost didn't notice his erection pushing into my stomach. He pushed against me groaning into my mouth, pushing us back so that the water ran down between our bodies making them slick, I found myself sliding my chest against him. '_Jesus_ Bella…,' he growled against me mouth

I pulled from the kiss and looked at him, 'Can I touch you? There?' I repeated the same words he had said to me, looking from his groin to his eyes. He paused, looking back at me as if he was searching for something deep within me. Slowly he nodded. I removed my hand from his hair and moved it slowly down his chest, the feel of his skin under the water was incredible, the water making his body smell like rose petals covered in dew.

Just as I reached his hip he grabbed my wrist, a little too hard. I looked to him worried that I'd gone too far – but I'd asked first right?

'What Edward?' I asked him, concern smothering my words.

He breathed an almost pained sigh while looking down. He shook his head slowly. 'Bella the feelings I'm experiencing right now may become too much for me. I'm fairly sure I'll be ok but I fear if you put your hands on me too quickly I may lose control.' His words were the sexiest thing I'd ever heard and I felt my whole body flex with need.

_I want you to lose control. _No, no silly Bella that would be bad!

I waited for him to continue sensing that he wasn't going to stop me completely. 'Just promise me that if I say stop, you stop?' His eyes pleaded with mine.

'I promise,' I whispered. He exhaled and relaxed his shoulders before moving his hand from my wrist to my own hand. He was guiding me. _Oh. My. God. _I held my breath, knowing that he could hear my heart doing laps of my chest. I suddenly felt him in my hand, long, cool and smooth. Perfect. He wrapped my fingers around him with his own.

'Slowly Bella,' he murmured in my ear before moving my hand up the length of him then slowly all the way back down. His head rolled back slightly and a groan, louder than I'd heard him emit before escaped from his lips. He continued guiding my hand painfully slow up and down, his groans becoming more frequent and louder with every movement. The ache between my legs was becoming almost painful as I felt little spasms of pleasure twist through me from my clit, to my stomach and back again. I licked his neck as his head lolled back again, moaning against his skin, whispering his name over and over.

'Bella…_so_…good…_uhnnn_…_oh_…please…,' His words were almost incoherent as his grasp on my wrist grew tighter, but I didn't want to stop when I knew how much pleasure I was giving him. His hips were thrusting now matching my strokes, finding a rhythm that would bring him to climax. His other hand found my breast and started to rub, pull and tease at my nipple, making my breath accelerate. The water was bouncing off us, working as a lubricant, helping me increase the speed of my hand on him. Edward began to growl and breath through his teeth at such a speed that it made a hissing noise.

'_Ah_…Bella…please…_stop_…,' I didn't stop my hand but I hesitated for a second. Did he really want me to stop? Or was it one of those sexy-can't-think-properly-all-i-can-say-is-stop moments? But I didn't want to stop. I'd never seen him look so beautiful or had him so close to me and I wanted it longer. 'Bella..._fuck_…,' I couldn't believe what I'd heard but it was the most erotic thing ever. Edward's beautiful mouth speaking such dirty words, my clit twisted again. My hand was still on him. He'd have to make me stop. I couldn't pull away from him now, not with him speaking and moving the way he was. He was so hard in my hand I tightened my grip.

It suddenly all happened very quickly. Edward froze so instantly that I couldn't help but do the same. I looked at his eyes that were burning so brightly with passion that I staggered back. He lifted me up under my arms and thrust me against the shower wall, I'd have screamed in pain if I hadn't been so turned on. He lifted my right leg around his waist and plunged three fingers into me hard and deep. I cried out in surprise and pleasure. His fingers filled me, stroked me and he began to thrust them against me, rubbing my clit with his thumb. I realised my hand was still on him and began pumping again matching each of his thrusts with mine. He buried himself in my breasts, licking and sucking my hard nipples, then back to my mouth, his tongue licking my lips and chin between moans.

I felt the build up begin again, the tightening of the muscles in my clit, being teased out by Edward's thumb that circled me again and again. '_Oh_ Edward…_ah_…mmm…,' I couldn't speak, my body was once again at his mercy. My stomach twisted, my legs bent around him holding him to me. My other hand grabbed at his arm forcing his fingers deeper into me, I wanted to consume him, hold him like this forever and never let go. He stroked, he pulled, he pushed me to the edge again and again, growing harder with each caress of my hand. 'Please come Bella…it's so close….'

I flung my head back as my orgasm sliced through my body with such ferocity I thought I would tear in half. I cried out his name, begged him to keep going, telling him how much I loved him. His hand never left me, thrusting into me over and over moving me up the shower wall.

My breath left me, then returned in gasps. I held onto him tight, biting into his shoulder to stop from screaming out again. Suddenly Edward was crying out, his thrusts were too quick for my hand but I didn't let him go. 'Oh…god…_ah_…please…_Bella_…,' as he said my name a blood-curdling roar flew from his chest as I felt him come against me, his liquid hitting my stomach with each thrust and pulse I felt in my hand. His face looked almost pained but more staggeringly beautiful than I ever thought possible. I held him tighter. I kissed him, his face, neck, lips; everywhere I could, to prolong his orgasm. His growls filled the shower, hitting the tiles before escaping with the steam.

His thrusts started to slow as he whispered my name against my neck with each one. His fingers, still within me, continued to stroke softer and softer. I felt him relax against me and slowly remove his hand from me to wrap it around my waist. I released my grip on him and threw my arms around his neck. We stood there for what seemed like an eternity, neither one of us speaking for fear of breaking the spell of what we had just shared. He eventually lifted his head from my shoulder and looked at me, his eyes still not completely calm.

'Did I hurt you?' Of course he'd be worried about that.

I laughed softly shaking my head, 'Of course not baby. I'm fine. I feel amazing.' It was the truth, I did feel amazing. More in fact. And not just because of what he'd done to me but what I had done to him. I had been able to give something back to him. We'd always been so off balance; he the beautiful, steady and resolute vampire and me the ordinary, clumsy, indecisive human. And now we were equal. I had given him the same pleasure he'd given me and he'd enjoyed it, wanted it, cried out for it. I couldn't keep the wide smile off my face. I was ecstatic.

'Do I get to hear the joke?' he smiled using my words against me.

I giggled pulling my legs tighter around him, 'No,' I answered kissing him softly 'I was just thinking of you and it made me smile.'

**Ok so maybe a little longer than expected…**

**What do you think folks?**

**I've tried again to stay in character as much as poss. Please let me know whether it's worked or not.**

**The more reviews I get the quicker I get the chapters together – sad but true!!**

**TTFN x x x x**


	6. Chapter 6

**The response I had for the last chapter was brilliant – thanks again for all your kind words – they really mean a lot.**

**This chapter became a lot longer than I thought it would be – sorry!**

**I'm so pleased you like the sexual tension I'm trying to create – personally I think it makes it hotter!? **

**And with sexual tension in mind may I present chapter 6…*cackles evilly* **

**Truth or Dare**

**EPOV**

I was speechless.

Mute.

Dumb struck.

I have lived for over a century. Seen many different places, met thousands of different people. Witnessed each of the Seven Wonders of the World; twice, and still had words to describe the magnificence and splendour of them.

But this?

I was completely wordless.

As I looked down at her, snuggled up to me, her naked body curved against mine, skin against skin, breathing softly in her deep sleep, I couldn't imagine, in my entire existence, even if I lived a hundred thousand years, to ever be happier than I was at that moment. No not happier. Euphoric. I was euphoric.

I had seen, touched and heard Bella in so many ways during the time we had been together but nothing had come close to the extraordinary experience that we had shared just 8 hours ago. Feeling her body sliding against mine, wet and hot from the water, hearing her moans, her whispers of want and need for me was incredible. I'd wanted to give her everything, would have given her anything she'd asked of me as long as I got to touch and hear her.

And then she'd put her hands on me.

The sensation of her hand on me was the most intense, sublime moment of my long life. The warmth of her grasp, the tension in her palm as she held me and rubbed me had created a feeling in me so passionate, deep and unyielding that I thought my body would burst into flames. I'd found my need for her body grow and grow with every movement she made on me, growing to such an extreme that I'd thrown myself at her, plunging my fingers into her, desperate to feel her in every way possible. I'd kept control though. Somewhat. She'd told me I hadn't hurt her. And, I decided, I was happy with that too.

We'd shared something so precious and fervent that our relationship would never be the same again. I would never be the same again. The physical and mental release that I had felt with Bella was like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. I was convinced that, had my heart still had a beat it would have been leaping for joy, pounding in my chest. I felt exuberant, like I could laugh out loud and cry with happiness all at the same time. Unsurprisingly and like the drug addict I was, I wanted more.

She'd let me pleasure her again after the shower and when we returned to bed. I couldn't get enough of seeing her let go and give herself over to me. I felt myself getting hard again at the thought. I wrapped my arm around her tighter, stroking her thigh with my fingers, feeling her soft skin pimple up from the temperature of my body. She muttered quietly, pushing her leg over mine almost covering me with her entire body. I suppressed a groan as the heat from her soaked into me along with her scent that slipped into my mouth and down my throat. How ironic, I thought as my erection hardened, all this time I'd been worried that it would be my blood lust that would harm her when actually it was my lust for her body that was infinitely more dangerous.

Stretching gently against me and yawning quietly Bella opened her eyes slowly. I smiled at her simply because I couldn't help it. It seemed like an almost impulsive, unconscious thing now, every time I saw her, like breathing or blinking would be to a human. She smiled back snuggling into my shoulder, kissing the skin there.

'Good morning, angel,' I whispered kissing the slope of her neck where it met her shoulder, closing my eyes as I smelt her skin; strawberries and lavender. Exquisite.

She giggled sleepily, 'Morning, how are you? Sleep well?' her grin widened as I continued to kiss down her arm, breathing in against the pulse points in the crook of her elbow all the way to her wrist.

I laughed against her hand kissing the tip of each finger, letting my finger graze each one gently, 'Like the un-dead,' I whispered looking at her through my lashes, feeling her heart beat a fraction harder as it pulsed around her body. She brought my face up to hers kissing me, moulding her lips to mine, gently, not like the urgency that had taken over us last night, I breathed into her mouth letting out a soft moan. She wrapped herself around me, her arms around my neck and her left leg around the calf of my right. I knew what she was thinking because, truth be told, I was thinking it too.

It would be so easy. Simple even.

To just place myself between her thighs and take her. To push myself into her, give us what we both wanted, feel her like no-one had before. My muscles in my back tensed and my breathing increased. The ache in my groin was unbearable; everything inside my body wanted her in that instant. She wanted it too, I know she did, she didn't need to tell me; her body already did that. The scent of her was fusing with her essence, a lust filled aroma that tightened up my body like a spanner on bolts.

It would be easy, true enough, but was I ready?

Would it be safe for me to push myself a little further, to give in to my body's needs? To be with the woman I loved, adored, so completely that it was simply the next step? My body knew what it wanted, just as Bella's did, it craved for her, yearned to the point of pain.

I wanted to. God, I wanted to!

I slowed the kiss that had become more eager as I confronted the turmoil within me until I pulled from her gently. I didn't know what to say to her. My body however spoke volumes, as my erection pushed into her thigh. She gazed back at me, her eyes conveying all the same emotions that warred in my silent heart. She took a deep breath, seemingly to calm herself and stroked the side of my face from my temple to my chin.

'I know Edward,' she whispered 'And it's ok.' She smiled a smile that dazzled me. With 6 words she had managed to ease my fear, my anxiety, maybe not my desire, but the root of it deep inside of me retreated slightly, allowing me to breath.

I laughed humourlessly not quite believing that she had done it again. She'd calmed me. Been my rock, my hero in a time of need, the roles once more were reversed in a surreal way. I kissed her lips as gently as I ever have, 'I adore you to the ends of the earth Bella Swan. Don't you ever forget it,' she met my eyes again then hugged me to her tightly almost as if she'd never let go.

Honestly, right then I'd have been fine with that.

* * * * *

In keeping with the 'Alice sleepover' charade, just after I'd cooked her lunch, Bella went home to tell Charlie that she was staying over again as the Cullen family had had some car trouble in Denali and had to wait till the morning for a tow. Alice didn't want to be on her own until the family came back. I didn't underestimate Charlie Swan in the slightest, but it did amuse me somewhat to have him believe Bella so implicitly, especially where Alice was concerned.

We hadn't spoken again about the morning, I'd let Bella shower on her own, whilst I calmed down by listening to a "chill-out remix" CD Jasper had given me for times of emergency in his absence. Not that the situation could be labelled as an emergency, I hadn't acted on my impulses, but the pull I felt towards Bella's body was excruciatingly strong and filled me with trepidation. We'd both said we would take it slow; I had to take it slow. I knew full well that my demon was under more control than I'd ever thought possible, but there was forever that nagging doubt at the forefront of my brain, the what-ifs, the maybes, ironically, another voice to add to the collection.

Whilst Bella was at home I'd decided to go hunting. Better safe than sorry, I thought as I ran as hard as I could through the forest, subconsciously trying to shake off some of the tension I felt. I jumped, sprinted and climbed, suddenly and unexpectedly feeling the buzz of the previous night fill me from my feet to the top of my head. It wasn't going to help with the whole calming down plan but I couldn't help but let myself remember feeling Bella's body against me, the sound of her moaning my name and the scent?!

_Christ,_ I needed to eat; quickly!

It suddenly occurred to me, as I drained the boar in front of me of his last drops of blood, that Bella and I could continue to do all the things we had already done. I'd learnt to control myself up to a certain point so there was no problem in returning to that point, over and over again if the need took us. Right? I knew my body well enough to believe the theory. I would know what to expect in terms of the touch and smell and so on, so it shouldn't be that difficult. Should it?

With my mind made up I set off back home giving myself enough time to get showered and set everything up for the night. My phone buzzed in my pocket as I entered the front door.

'Hey Alice, everything ok?' I asked only slightly concerned that it would be bad news.

'Yeah we're all fine, I'm not going to ask you how you are though, Jasper can practically feel your mood from here!,' I heard laughter in the background but didn't respond, surprising myself that I couldn't care less what Alice had seen and then told my entire family, I was still too hyped.

'So was this just a social call or…,' she didn't let me finish.

'My room, black chest of drawers, top right,' she laughed lightly, I frowned in confusion.

'That's a little cryptic even for you Alice, help please?'

She laughed again, 'You'll find something for you and Bella to use tonight,' her laughter was drowned by what I could only guess was Emmett chortling next to her.

I thought for a second before catching my breath, 'Erm…Alice I'm sure it works for you that kind of…stuff but honestly…,' I'm sure I would have blushed if I had the capability. Cue more raucous laughter. That was going to get old fast I thought.

'Trust me, young Edward, you'll thank me tomorrow!' The line went dead before I could plead my case further. It was definitely a good job that I loved my sister. I stood for five minutes looking towards the stairs in the direction of her bedroom. She wouldn't, would she? Would she honestly think that…? No, she knows me better than that surely.

I ran up the stairs to her room and gingerly opened the door. It felt wrong to be in Alice and Jasper's room without them there. Our rooms were our own individual sanctuaries, our times of peace or in Emmett and Rosalie's case…not! I wandered to the chest of drawers and opened the top right, vowing silently that if I found what I was thinking or any variation of said thought that I was going to throttle Alice single-handedly.

I breathed out a laugh as I picked up a large, black dice that was about the same size as a baseball. Engraved in white script on two sides was the word Truth and the others, Dare.

Alice was right; I would be thanking her tomorrow.

* * * * *

Bella arrived back about an hour later just as twilight settled over Forks. It felt so good to see her. I missed her when she wasn't near me of course but I never truly realised how much until I had her back in my arms. I kissed her, immediately wanting to be close to her, running my hands through her dark hair and holding her at the small of her back pulling her to my chest, wondering how I'd let her leave in the first place. I left her mouth and kissed her jaw line and down to her neck letting her scent envelop me. There it was the familiar burn. 'I missed you,' I whispered looking at her whilst stroking her hair from her face.

'I missed you too Edward,' she smiled reaching on her tip toes to kiss me again 'So much,' she sighed.

I smiled back. I could easily have taken her straight to bed then and not let her go till day break, but I knew that I wanted to put Alice's 'toy' to the test. I took her hand and led her to the living room which I'd decorated with small white candles over every surface and a pink blanket laid out on the floor. I felt Bella's hand tighten in mine and her heart speed up rapidly. I turned to her thinking that she'd gotten the wrong idea.

'Oh no Bella it's not like that…it's…I just wanted you to be comfortable and…,' she put two fingers to my lips stopping my bumbling. A bumbling vampire, Emmett would never let that one go.

'It's beautiful Edward,' she whispered looking around the room, the candles flames dancing in her eyes. She was so beautiful.

I led her to the blanket and sat cross-legged at one side, smiling she did the same opposite me. I remained silent, watching her wait for an explanation.

'Ok, I'll bite, what's the occasion?' I rolled my eyes at her unconsciously inappropriate remark..

'Well, Alice thought we might want something to do tonight,' I let that hang in the air a moment, watching Bella's eyes flicker with concentration as her heart did a somersault in her chest. I grinned widely.

I knew it was mean but I couldn't resist, 'She left us a _toy_ to play with,' I purposely emphasised the word toy and stifled a giggle as the all too familiar blush raced over Bella's chest, neck and face. I couldn't hold it back any longer and laughed out loud. Bella's face went from fearful to livid in a flash. This didn't help my laughter.

'What is so funny Edward, or are you purposely trying to piss me off?' She folded her arms over her chest and pouted, definitely mad.

I coughed back my laughter, 'I'm sorry sweetheart I couldn't help it,' I pulled the dice from behind my back and placed it directly between us. I looked at her again, hoping that it was my apology face that she saw. Her arms loosened and a small smile crept to her lips. I smiled back and we both laughed, the tension easing ever so slightly.

'I hate vampires,' she muttered still giggling about her misunderstanding, I laughed at her inability to sulk properly.

'So, you up for this?' I asked spinning the dice in my hand. I really wanted her to say yes but I knew if she said otherwise I wouldn't have pursued it. Truth didn't come easy to some people but I knew with Bella the opposite was true, she was the most truthful, honest person I knew, and that was without reading her mind.

She paused for a moment, obviously weighing the risks involved in being dared by a vampire. She moved slowly forward towards me, leaning on the palms of her hands, moving her arms together so that her breasts pushed up above the black v-neck t-shirt she wore, she breathed gently letting it swathe over my face, looking into my eyes, her face awash with desire.

_Christ,_ I wanted her!

'Definitely,' it was almost a purr that left her lips. I felt my chest; back and groin tighten at her words and body. Snapping out of my daze I tried to focus on the dice. She sat back on her side of the blanket with an almost smug look on her gorgeous face.

'Ok,' I smiled placing it next to her leg, 'Ladies first.' She grinned back at me, taking the dice in her hands, shaking it like she was about to gamble before rolling it across the floor.

Truth

She looked back at me in expectation. I exaggerated a frown on my face, crossed my arms and rubbed my chin in an attempt to look deep in thought, but I knew exactly what my first question was going to be. I dropped my hands and looked at her squarely in the eye, knowing that anything but the truth would be easily identified through her body's reactions.

'Do you trust me?'

Bella's face seemed perplexed. She smiled an uncertain smile, as if my question was a joke or she'd misheard me. But her heart rate never changed, her pupils remained the same and her breathing never altered.

'Of course I trust you,' the words sounded as if she was speaking to a two year old who didn't know better, but I knew she meant every one of them. I shook my head slightly in exasperation. Would she never learn?

'Your turn,' I looked to see her holding the dice out to me with an almost excited grin on her face. I rolled the dice.

Truth

I gave her my best crooked grin which I knew she loved and waited for her question. Knowing Bella it would probably be something she already knew but needed clarification, just to be sure. She didn't disappoint.

'How much do you love me?'

I'd have been mad at her if her expression had not conveyed the desperate need to hear the words. I knew she knew I loved her but that wasn't the question. It was how much I loved her. She needed confirmation that my love was thorough, deep unconditional and pure. Her fragile heart needed to hear me say it and that was enough for me. It suddenly struck me how hard it would be to put into words.

'Bella,' I paused taking a deep breath before continuing, looking into her beautiful chocolate eyes, 'Without you my very existence would cease to be. I am barely even half of myself when you are away from me and you are the light to my darkness when you return. I love, adore, cherish and worship you to the depths of forever and beyond and if you'll allow me, I'd like to spend the rest of our lives together showing you what that means.' Even said out loud the words didn't seem to cover even a third of my feelings for her but from the look on her face and the glisten in her eye I knew that for her it was enough.

She crawled towards me slowly and kissed my cheek gently, 'Thank you,' she whispered in my ear. I looked at her shaking my head, 'No Bella, thank _you_.' I handed her the dice and waited for her to compose herself. She again shook the dice, this time like a magic eight ball and blew on it for luck. I found myself watching her lips purse as they blew thinking that it was quite possibly the sexiest thing I had ever seen.

Dare

I smiled widely not caring that my teeth were showing, hearing Bella's breathing increase a fraction. I looked at her, raising my eyebrow, pretending to consider my options. I felt the tension in the room rise slightly. I could ask her to do pretty much anything at this point and that thought did strange things to my body. It seemed obvious and male to suggest what I was thinking but, in all honesty, it was what I wanted most at that moment.

'I dare you to take off all your clothes and keep them off for the rest of the game.'

I hoped that she wouldn't notice the fact that I'd given her two dares in one go. I met her gaze from under my brow waiting for the stubborn refusal that was bound to come. She remained seated looking squarely at me, never flinching, and her breathing returned to normal far too quickly. That must be a good sign, I thought. Her look was knowing in its intensity and it hit me directly in the stomach, twisting around, moving down to my groin. I suppressed a groan.

'Ok,' she answered, a sly smile pulling at the edges of her mouth, I breathed in quickly watching her mouth once again, 'But before I do, you roll your turn.'

I grinned and frowned at the same time, loving her confidence and puzzled at her request. She raised her eyebrows up, waiting for me to ask why. I didn't.

Dare

Her face said it all, and if I hadn't known better, I would have sworn she'd set it up that way. She giggled quietly, standing with her hands on the button of her jeans. I swallowed very hard, feeling my lungs contract. Looking at her from her face to her hands and back again willing her to undo them and take them off. The sudden urge to see her naked was insanely powerful and caught me completely by surprise. She waited for my eyes to meet hers once more.

'I dare you, Edward Cullen, to not touch me the whole time I am naked until I tell you otherwise,' I felt my jaw drop slightly and my eyes grow wider.

Was she serious? Have her in front of me? Naked? And not touch her?

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out, only a confounded stutter of breath. How had this happened? How had she managed to completely control the situation? And, more to the point, how the hell was I going to accept the dare and abide by it?

She stood in front of me still waiting for my acceptance of the dare. I took a deep breath in and placed my hands under my thighs, looking to her with an exaggerated annoyed expression that made her chuckle quietly. 'Fine,' I growled knowing that I was going to regret every minute of this. Damn you Alice!

With the smile completely gone from her face and her eyes glued to mine she slowly undid the button on her jeans before sliding the zip down. I was glad at this point to be far enough away from her to not get her scent as strong as I had before, otherwise the dare rules would have been out the window along with my morals and virtues. I daren't look to where her hands were as I felt my own clench the pink blanket under my legs.

Achingly slow, she pushed her jeans down, gradually showing her beautiful thighs, her knees and her calves. My groin twitched with such force I almost jumped, but found myself to be so hypnotised by Bella that moving would have been almost impossible. Stepping out of her jeans I noticed that she had on a pair of dark blue boy shorts that held her in all the right places. The places I wanted to hold her…kiss her…touch her…taste her…focus Edward!

Her hands went to the bottom of her t-shirt and with a smile she raised it, first over her stomach, to her bra, which, I was devastated to realise matched her boy shorts exactly! Over her shoulders and off, gently dropping it to the floor. I growled deep within my chest, holding back the urges and impulses that raced around my body. My insanely hard erection pulsed and pushed against my jeans, wanting her as much as the rest of me did.

I held my breath as her hands went to the clasp of her bra undoing each one with a slow blink of her eyes that left me almost delirious. I felt the blanket rip in my hand. In almost slow motion she shimmied her bra straps down her arms and pulled the whole thing from her body. My breathing was so heavy it was audible to the entire room, increasing in volume even more when I noticed that her nipples were magnificently hard. Her breasts were so perfect; I remembered lustfully the way that they had fit into my palms like they were made just for me. I moaned, this time not even trying to disguise the fact that I had.

Her hands snaked slowly down under her breasts, to her stomach to the hem of her boy shorts. I felt my whole body tense, my breathing quickened, my groin swelled further, I found myself licking my bottom lip in anticipation. Bella sucked in a breath as she noticed this. I looked back to her face, my eyes pleading with her to continue, '_Please_ Bella…god _please_…take them off,' my voice, which was almost a growl, was shaking from the ragged breaths that left my mouth. She moaned my name softly as she registered the desperate need on my face.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and pushed the shorts from her leaving them, once they were past her thighs, to fall to the floor. She stood in front of me, not quite knowing what to do with her hands before deciding to leave them at her sides with her fists clenched tight against her legs. Her chest rose and fell quickly with each breath. She was exquisite, fragile and mine. I closed my eyes for a split second to regain my composure when I noticed a glistening of moisture between her legs.

'Bella?' I whispered taking in her entire body with my eyes, soaking up all of her into my memory, to replay when she as away from me.

She barely made a noise as she answered, 'Yes?'

I met her eyes, knowing that the craving and yearning that I felt for her would be blatant in my pupils, 'Come here,' I didn't move, still holding onto the rags of the pink rug for dear life.

Bella suddenly found more of her voice, 'But Edward I haven't said otherwise,' she smiled slightly immediately realising that she was the one still in control and she was loving every minute of it. As was I.

'Oh I know Bella and I promise I won't, I just want to try one thing,' I grinned back at her but she didn't move, seemingly frozen to the spot. I lifted my eyebrows in surprise, 'you _do_ trust me; don't you Bella?' I knew that this would trigger her determined, stubborn streak and laughed silently as she narrowed her eyes, pursed her lips and moved towards me until she was standing not two inches from me. Her scent was intoxicating, working like a lubricant to ease the tension I felt in the muscles of my whole body. It was now my turn to be in control of the situation.

And myself.

I slowly released the rug, flexed my fingers and stood up in front of her as slowly as I could, my eyes raking over her body as I did so. Her heart was pounding in her chest louder than I'd ever heard it before, stuttering and fluttering, before resuming its marathon. I gradually placed my arms behind my back interlocking my fingers to show her, and myself, that I had the control not to touch her.

I leaned my head towards her lips breathing gently over her, watching as her eyes rolled back into her head and the pimples rise on her soft skin. I moved slowly from standing in front of her to moving to her side keeping my lips not two centimetres from her body, continually breathing cold air onto her. My head was now in the crook of her neck and shoulder, as I watched the rhythm of her pulse quicken in the vein in her throat. I breathed her in before releasing a long moan that made the hairs on her arm stand up.

'Do you know how beautiful you are Bella?' I whispered moving around till I was standing behind her. She didn't answer me. I smiled to myself feeling satisfied that the tables were beginning to turn. I looked down her body, my eyes taking in the perfect curve of her shoulders, back and down to her backside. I wanted so much to reach out and touch her, but knew that I would be breaking her rules. The lines of her were perfect, poetry in motion. Her symmetry was breathtaking.

Placing my lips, again only one inch from her skin, at the nape of her neck I slowly moved down, following the curve of her spine. 'You are perfect Bella, you overwhelm me,' I never spoke above a whisper, trying to keep myself as calm as I could until I was once again on my knees with her beautiful form directly in front of me. 'Turn around,' she didn't hesitate, but moved around, taking her time until her belly button met my eye line.

I chuckled silently when I noticed that her eyes were shut tight and her hands were still clenched at her sides. I lowered my face once more to her, still not allowing myself to touch her, lowering my face from her stomach to the top of the soft hairs that covered her sex. After blowing more cold air onto her I took in a deep breath feeling the lusty aroma scrape its way down my nose and plunge head first into my lungs. I moaned her name, the ache in my groin becoming so intense, I found myself unzipping my jeans to relieve the pressure before quickly putting my hands back to their safe place. If she heard it she never let on.

'Oh…Edward…_mmm_…,' Bella's hands suddenly loosened on themselves and started to roam up to her breasts, stroking the skin gently, then down to her hips then further, frustratingly close to the moisture between her legs. My breath caught in my throat at the image that flashed in my head.

'God Bella…I want you so much…_I need you_…,' I couldn't lie to her, the call her body had to me was like nothing I'd ever experienced. I moved my head to the top of her right thigh, back over to her left breathing her in, closing my eyes tight as I felt my hands loosen behind my back.

'Edward…I…I want…,' she whispered, ragged breaths leaving her beautiful mouth, I had to hear her say it, I had to wait for her to make the choice.

'Yes, baby, what do you want?' I urged, desperate to hear it.

'Touch me Edward,' she breathed; her hands clasping her breasts. I didn't need telling twice.

I picked her up and pushed her down on to the couch, my lips crushing hers, my hands feeling every inch of her skin against me, rubbing them over her gorgeous breasts before being overtaken by my frantic mouth. I teased her nipples with my tongue and lips, tasting her, each one at a time. My hands travelled down between her thighs and I couldn't hold back a cry of pleasure as I felt the immense heat and moisture coming off her.

'Oh _god_ Bella…so…_wet_…_fuck_…,' I couldn't help but curse, which was the second time she'd brought me to it. It just felt like no other words could describe the sensations that my body was experiencing. I felt her fingers pull at my hair as she cried out my name. It seemed she liked it.

I couldn't wait any longer. I plunged two fingers into her with more force than I intended, rubbing her clit fast and hard with my thumb. Her body arched against me and I felt her hand find its way into my jeans, rubbing along the entire length of me. I groaned her name loudly. I needed more and I pushed another finger into her. She cried out again. She was so close, her breathing was shallow but quick and her whole body remained in an almost perfect C shape as I kissed her stomach all the way up to her breasts. Her mouth was open, but no sound came out, she was silenced with ecstasy.

I moved to her ear once more, thrusting my hand in her faster and harder than I had in the shower, 'Yes baby, let me feel it Bella, please come,' I needed her to, needed to see it, hear it. Her body straightened then flexed back up almost violently, curving so that my lips met the skin of her neck. She cried out my name over and over till it sounded like she was sobbing. Her breathing was erratic, ragged and loud following each moan, as if it was pushing the orgasm out of her. I slowed my thrusts, bringing her back down until I stopped altogether bringing my fingers from her.

I trailed small gentle kisses up her neck to her face before kissing her deeply, letting my tongue slide over her lips. 'I love you so much,' she breathed; her hand, I realised, was still in my jeans holding me. I grabbed her wrist and pulled it from me. My pleasure came from giving her pleasure. The fact that I had made her come, cry out my name and whimper was all I needed to feel completely satisfied. She huffed as I placed her hand on her stomach.

'When do I get to return the favour?' she asked frowning at me. I couldn't help but beam at her.

'When I say otherwise,' I laughed, kissing the tip of her nose.

She raised her eyebrows at me, 'Truth?' she asked stroking my face.

'Most definitely,' I replied.

**Sorry it's so long but the tension only seems to work this way – but what do you think?**

**Please review with any thoughts about how you think the story is shaping up – do you want more tension or do you just want them to do it already? **

**Please feel free to PM me with any ideas if you don't want to review.**

**TTFN x x x x**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks again to all your reviews and all the ideas that you've given me!! You're all brill!!**

**The response was fairly split on the whole 'should they just do it' question so I've figured it'll happen in a chapter or two, coz I'm enjoying the tension too much – hope that works for you?**

**Oh just in case you didn't know none of this belongs to me, it belongs to Queen Meyer!**

**Chapter 7**

**Returning the Favour**

**EPOV**

We stayed curled up with each other on the sofa, legs entwined, Bella pressed against my chest with her head under my chin. I softly ran my fingers through her hair, letting each strand caress my palm, down to the supple, pale skin of her bare back.

Oh yes, Bella was still gloriously naked.

Being the gentleman that I am, I had offered to get her clothes for her or even a blanket to keep her warm whilst she was lying so close to my cold body, but she had refused and snuggled closer to me. For obvious reasons I hadn't pushed the issue. I smiled dryly to myself as I realised how human I was becoming. Well, male at least.

But I couldn't help it.

I loved having Bella's body so close to me at any time, but to have it bare and pressed against me, as it was now, was like nothing else on earth. Her skin was so soft and warm plus, having no clothes to dilute it, her scent was positively radiating from her, enveloping me over and over till I felt almost giddy. It was becoming easier to manage the swell of venom that used to flood my mouth every time I got so much as a whiff of Bella. Now it wasn't so much a flood as a light trickle.

I wasn't however becoming complacent over my control over the last two days. It was never going to be completely without risk, being with Bella this way, and I couldn't let myself forget that for one second. _Like I could,_ I thought sarcastically. But I couldn't help but feel slightly proud of my self for the overcoming the hurdles I had to get to this point. I knew that there would be more, harder, higher hurdles to face, but for now I was content with my firm grasp on my less…human-friendly side.

Bella stirred, twisting her leg from its knot with mine to rest it over my hip. Her hands rubbed my back through my shirt as her warm lips kissed my chest leaving what I was sure were scorch marks on my skin. She raised her head and placed small kisses along my chin, sighing as she breathed deeply against my throat. I put my hands on the small of her back and pushed her against me, closing my eyes to truly enjoy the sensation of her; so exposed and vulnerable and holding onto me.

'Mmm…Edward you smell so good,' she whispered, taking another deep breath before letting out a quiet moan. She ran her hand down my back and rubbed my backside, gently scratching me through the denim of my jeans.

My body suddenly began waking up, and fast.

'All the better for luring you in my dear,' I chuckled, trying to hide the quiver in my voice that was being caused by her unrelenting hands on my ass.

Ass?! My language was definitely becoming more 21st century male that was for sure.

That suddenly reminded me of Bella's reaction when I had cursed before. Her hands had definitely tightened in my hair when I'd let my mouth run away with me. Twice. I wonder…

'Bella,' I growled into her ear before kissing her neck, down to her shoulder, 'Do you like rubbing your hands over my ass? Because I fucking love it.' I cringed internally waiting for her to be either shocked, disgusted or both. I heard her take a sharp breath before tightening her leg around my hip and pulling me to her harder, her hands now running through my hair to the back of my neck.

Ok so that clarified the answer to that little question!

I was hyper aware of her centre being pushed against my groin, pulsing out an intense heat that seeped through my clothes and caressed my body. We were pushed together so hard at this point that I started to fear for her fragile bones. I laughed silently as I gently tried to extricate myself from her grasp. She looked to my face with a disappointed expression. 'I thought we were passed all the pulling away thing,' she whispered, her disappointed frown slowly changing to a look that indicated fear of rejection.

'Oh Bella I'm not pulling away sweetheart,' I smiled at her trying to ease her doubts, 'I'm just painfully aware that if I hold you any tighter against me that we may have to change your name to Road Kill.' She laughed at this; her shaking body making mine react in ways I was getting used to more and more. She noticed this too, her eyes suddenly glazing with desire as she felt my hard groin press against her stomach.

I shifted my gaze from her eyes to a tiny freckle on her right shoulder feeling slightly embarrassed that I couldn't even lie with her in my arms without getting excited. Even if she was naked! I was sure I had more control over myself than what my groin was demonstrating at this point, almost painfully so I hasten to add. 'Sorry,' I mumbled, tracing the line of her neck to the shoulder that suddenly had my complete attention.

'What for Edward? You have nothing to be sorry for,' she pulled my face to look at her, her expression was almost angry, 'I love you more than words can express. You have touched me and made me feel like no one else ever has or ever will,' I smiled to myself hearing her voice become more determined, 'my body has never desired anything more than it desires you Edward.'

I swallowed loudly thinking about how her body had literally sung to me, telling me what it wanted most, becoming hot and wet for me. She looked at the button on my shirt, fingering it lightly, her eyes never looking back to mine. 'And if this is your body's way of showing me how much it desires me,' she continued nodding gently towards my groin, 'Then don't hide it from me or be embarrassed about it. I need to know you want me too Edward.' I grabbed her face and smothered her mouth with mine, my tongue flicking against her bottom lip. She reciprocated the kiss by moaning into my mouth and holding my face in her hands.

'I always want you Bella. I always have and I always will. I swear to you that will never change.' I kissed her cheeks and her eyes, down her jaw line to her throat, trying my hardest to kiss, lick and nibble away any doubt that I had caused her to have about my need for her. Because I knew it wasn't just want, lust or desire that I felt for her.

It _was_ need. I _needed _her. _God_, so much.

My hands moved up to her breasts feeling her nipples harden as I ran my fingers over her smooth skin; I closed my hands over them, kneading the soft flesh whilst kissing her collarbone, tracing the curve of her bone with my tongue, feeling her shiver as my tongue danced up to her throat, burning with the sensation of her pulse under her chin.

I pulled away gently, 'Bella, please let me grab you something to wear, you're freezing,' I could see the hairs on her arms starting to stand above the pimples that had started to wash over her entire body and her shoulders had become very small to try and keep the heat in her body and the cold from mine, out.

She shook her head stubbornly, 'Oh no. A dare is a dare and as far as I'm aware the game is still on,' she shivered again 'this is just a half time break.' She smiled at me pulling herself up to kiss my cheek. My face must have said it all. She was freezing because of my dare. I couldn't let that continue another second. I pulled her up so that she was sitting sideways on my lap and I started to unbutton my shirt.

'Edward. What are you doing?' the tone of her voice skittered somewhere between excitement and shock.

'Well,' I sighed pulling my shirt off my shoulders and over hers, 'seeing as it was my dare I get to change the ruling of said dare any way I see fit. And I see it fit to give you my shirt to try and warm you up a bit.' I grimaced, feeling the cold fabric against her skin as I rubbed her arm to try and create some kind of warmth, 'Granted it'll take a minute to warm up but it's better than nothing.'

I continued to rub her arms and shoulders through my shirt that, I had to admit, looked unbelievably sexy, hanging onto Bella's tiny frame. I noticed her eyes taking in my chest and felt a wave of smugness as I realised she liked what she saw. Her cheeks started to pink up slightly and her shoulders began to relax as she slowly started to feel something more than cold. She smiled shyly and dipped her head when she saw that I'd noticed her admiring glances.

'Bella, you _have_ seen my chest before,' I smiled not really understanding her reaction.

'I know but it still staggers me how incredibly beautiful you are,' she sighed running her index finger down the middle of my chest all the way down to the hair under my belly button, 'I guess it takes some getting used to.' Breathing in a sharp breath as her finger trailed a line of fire down my centre, I immediately remembered that I hadn't fastened my jeans back up, and glanced down as her finger hovered tentatively at the waistband of my underwear.

I held my breath, waiting for her to say something, anything, to distract us both from the hardness straining against the open fly of my jeans to get to her.

'Edward?'

I exhaled heavily, 'Yes Bella?' I answered, my eyes still fixed on her finger, that hadn't moved an inch.

She slowly looked to me, her eyes absorbing my form as they came to meet mine, 'Are we going to keep playing? It'd be a shame to give up so soon. I think it's my go anyway.' It took me a second and a number of quick breaths to realise she was talking about the Truth or Dare game. Her voice had taken on a sultry drawl that seemed to make my insides react in peculiar ways. If this was her _attempting_ to be sexy, I thought hopelessly, I was in deep trouble. She already had me exactly where she wanted me.

She rose slowly off my lap and took her seat back on the pink rug, pulling my shirt, which was only fastened by four buttons, over her as she sat cross-legged, picking up the dice and shaking it at me knowingly, an irresistible smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. I sighed, rolled my eyes and sat opposite her on the floor, legs splayed, suddenly feeling very vulnerable.

I had to try and get back control of the situation. I'd managed fairly well before but somehow I didn't seem to see a way to do it this time. Bella could be reckless if she was calling the shots. Don't get me wrong, I trusted her implicitly, I just didn't trust myself to tell her to stop. Maybe, I thought sheepishly, maybe I wanted Bella in control?

The dice hitting my knee brought me out of my musing.

Truth

I didn't hesitate, 'How did you feel when…I mean…,' I didn't look at her, keeping my eyes on the dice, 'what were your thoughts when I said fuck?' Then I looked at her to see her face glowing with the most delicious blush, a lusty aroma slapped me about the head as she breathed in quickly and swallowed hard. Her pupils had grown so big that her eyes, from a distance, would look almost black. I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony of that reaction.

She stared at me as if the answer was written on my face somewhere. 'Bella?' I raised an eyebrow 'Did you hear my question? I asked what your thoughts were when I said…'

'I heard you Edward,' she didn't snap but there was a tension in her voice that I recognised from when she'd pleaded with me to touch her. A longing and yearning that paralleled my own for her. I gave her a crooked grin, raising my other eyebrow. 'So…,' I couldn't help but press her, I knew she liked my using the words, but it was so much different hearing her actually say it.

She gathered her thoughts through the deep breath she took, licking her beautiful full lips before she continued. 'Edward…I…,' she couldn't seem to get her words out, I nodded in encouragement, she breathed again. Her eyes suddenly changed from black lust to gorgeous chocolate, becoming focused and hungry and more worryingly, controlled.

She shifted forward, pulling my shirt up her thigh as she did, the creamy pale skin looked so exquisite I couldn't help but groan quietly. She pursed her lips and looked at me without the hint of a smile, 'My thoughts were that I fucking loved it Edward.'

_Oh. My. God_

I'm sure my mouth made a popping noise as it dropped open. The heat in my groin went from smouldering to nuclear in seconds and my fists balled instantly grabbing at the already frayed edges of the blanket. My breath came out of my mouth in a whooshing sound as every muscle in my body tensed and tightened. And there it was, the smug little smile dancing over her mouth as she moved back into her original position; cross-legged in front of me.

And they call _me_ the monster!

If my heart had still had a beat I was convinced it would have been doing circuits of my chest, maybe using my ribs as monkey bars? I stared at her as she settled back, looking so relaxed I almost laughed. How did she do it? My fragile, little Bella, so human, so breakable and right now so fucking sexy my head was spinning. I smiled at my choice of words; this was starting to become habit. I took a deep breath to calm myself whilst shaking my head at the absurdity of the situation. Picking up the dice and kissing it gently, keeping my eyes on Bella's.

Come on Edward, you need to get a grip here!

Dare.

It hit me instantly that I was in a no win situation. I had a feeling I knew what she was going to dare me to do, and as much as I wanted the same thing, I didn't know if I could handle it. I started to panic slightly thinking about having to refuse my Bella. I surmised quickly that I simply couldn't.

Bella's shoulders shrunk down slightly, almost as if she was hoping for the Dare side to show up. This increased my panic. I looked at her under my lashes, waiting for her to speak, willing her to be sensible in her choice.

'Edward,' she smiled coquettishly 'I dare you to let me return the favour I owe you, no exceptions.' Her face was unreadable but her intentions were apparently not. This was exactly what I thought she would say, and honestly I didn't know whether to laugh and throw myself at her or sob and run far away to protect her from me.

Ridiculous I know. She had touched me in the shower before and I'd held on to my control hadn't I? Just. But there were so many other things going on, her body, lips, skin, and my fingers inside her. It was easy to distract myself with her body when I thought I would lose it. But this was different; she wanted me to be pleasured and me alone. No exceptions? This might be a problem.

I raised my head to voice my concerns, 'Edward, I know what you're going to say,' she interrupted 'but I really want this. I want to give you what you have given me.' My lungs felt suddenly very small and my breathing became ragged as I thought about Bella giving me what I had given her. 'Please?'

I wanted it. _Jesus_. So much.

Every part of me wanted her to satisfy me. My baser, more male instincts wanted to use her body in every way possible, to gratify my own needs, to have her in every way I could think of and then do it all over again. I would never do that to Bella, ever, but I had to start being honest with myself. Additionally, as I thought more about it, the more I came to realise that to deny myself what she was offering would be at the very least painful.

She moved quietly on all fours towards me, my shirt dripping and gaping from her body so that I could see all the way down it. My breathing hitched as I saw her nipples were hard and pleading for me to touch them. She moved up between my legs, her warm breath hitting my chest, setting my skin alight with need. Her mouth was inches from mine and I found myself sucking in ever breath that came out of it, drowning in her scent, heightening my senses to an excruciating degree.

She kissed my lips so softly I almost doubted she had. Her eyes were so full of love and lust but most of all they were begging me to trust her. And at that moment I did. She moved back resting on her knees between mine and moved her hands towards my jeans. I sucked in a breath to tell her to be slow, but she looked at me in such a way that I knew she wouldn't do anything to make this more difficult.

I leaned back so that my arms were behind me, palm flat on the blanket so that I could see everything that Bella was doing. Not that it mattered much now but I realised I _still_ hadn't done my jeans up. Even subconsciously, I thought, you _want_ this Edward.

No – I retorted to myself – I _need_ this.

Her hands came to the waist band of my jeans, her fingers curling around the denim, stroking the skin on my stomach. I swallowed back my groan. Seeing the silent request on her face I lifted my hips to allow her to pull them down. Once off, she pushed my jeans behind her and rested her fingers on the bridge of each foot. Gradually and gently she started moving them up, the sensation was incredible, lightly over my shins, to my knees where she pressed her palms against them. I wasn't quite sure why but I think she simply wanted to touch every part of me that she hadn't already. As did I.

I bit down on my lip as her hands came to my thighs and I waited for my chest to explode as she caressed them, rubbing smooth circles with her hands from the top to the inner part and back again, occasionally nipping at them with her nails. I was so hard now it was becoming uncomfortable, but not unbearable. It was a deep throb that travelled from my groin, to my stomach and then to my chest, pushing quick breaths from my lungs, leaving barely a second between them.

This throb increased ten-fold as I watched Bella lower her head to my right thigh and lick from the crook of my knee to the bottom of my boxer briefs. '_Jesus_…Bella…,' I couldn't hold it back, feeling my head loll to the left, my eyes struggling to stay open. She simply smiled at me, a smile that told me everything was alright, that _I _was alright. She moved and did the same to my left. Watching her tongue leisurely burn up my skin was torture. I wanted her to keep going, to keep moving up, but I knew I had to trust her so that I could begin to trust myself.

Slow and steady was the key.

She paused looking at me, putting her tongue slowly back in her mouth, driving me crazy. 'Edward' she breathed. It wasn't a request or a question but I knew what it meant. I sucked in a breath and nodded my head slowly trying to calm myself down before she touched me again. Her heart had started to pump faster as she watched me give permission to what she wanted. What _we_ wanted. Her scent was coming off her in plumes, telling me that she was as aroused as I was. I wanted so much to touch her wet centre and make her my own but this was as much her moment as it was mine.

Quicker than she had with my jeans she put her fingers under the band of my underwear and pulled them down, throwing them behind her. I _had_ been naked with her before, she _had_ seen me this way before, but her reaction to me nearly sent me over the edge. Her breathing became laboured, her heart thumped in her chest and her eyes became black lust once again. It was the most erotic thing, seeing my Bella react to my body this way. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her. And at that moment the one thing I wanted her to do was to put her hands on me.

And she did.

Slowly, her eyes never leaving mine, she put her hand to me, wrapping her fingers gently around the hardness that wanted her so much. I exhaled with relief; a soft moan followed it. She gradually rubbed up my length to the very tip, paused, then all the way down. My head rolled back. Her hand was so warm around me, her fingers gliding over my flesh, soft and so gentle.

'Oh…Bella…_that's so_…good…,' I could hardly get the words out in between the breaths that were leaving my lungs with Olympic speed. Her pace on me continued, all the way up then all the way down over and over again. I watched the concentration and love flash across her face as a small moan came from her as she bit down on her lip. 'Bella…harder…_please _baby…,' her grasp on me tightened, pushing a growl out of my chest, her hand quickening at the sound.

My body was becoming so tight, my muscles were rigid, taut, my chin rested on my chest, my mouth open to allow the breaths to pass through, watching Bella rub me and hold me, giving me the most incredible sensations I had ever experienced. '_Fuck_…Bella, _oh_…so…good…,' I felt her hand tighten further and I groaned so loudly Bella looked to me with an expression of concern on her face, 'No baby…keep going,' I managed. My hips suddenly had a life of their own and began to thrust with each caress of Bella's hand, I found myself pushing into her palm, breathing down my nose each time, growling with the concentration it took to not thrust with all my strength.

My body felt like it was lifting. Tightening then lifting, over and over. My chest felt stretched with the sensations that were hurtling around my body and my legs joined my hips, thrusting up to meet her delicious hand. Lifting. Tightening. My moans, turned to groans, which turned to growls, which turned to Bella's name. '_Unnh_…Bella…oh…god…_fuck_…please…,' I couldn't think, I could barely see. All I was aware of was the most exquisite creature between my knees, with her hand on me bringing me to the most incredible orgasm.

I opened my mouth wider but no sound escaped. My thrusts were becoming fevered, deep, almost violent in their need for release. I grabbed at the blanket beneath me, holding on for dear life. Holding on till I felt my grasp on the moment, on myself, on my control combust, as the tightening in my groin suddenly exploded.

I thrust over and over again feeling the pulse wrack through my body, shouting out Bella's name, her hand never slowing, bringing me to the edge and back again. I felt my hand slam into the floor with all the pent up strength I'd managed to keep away from her and the heels of my feet grind against the blanket, tearing the fabric with ease. Nothing had prepared me for the feelings my body was witnessing. I slumped back onto the floor.

I knew she'd done this to me in the shower this morning but, in all honesty, I had been so caught up in pleasing Bella and feeling her, that my experience had seemingly passed me by. It had felt incredible, but having Bella give me everything right now, all her attention on me, no distractions had left my mind reeling.

Gradually my thrusts slowed as did Bella's hand until she stopped completely and lay down next to me, kissing my face and mouth. 'Thank you,' she whispered. I couldn't hold back my laugh out of sheer bemusement.

'I think you're confused my angel. I should be thanking you. That was…it was…,' I smiled at my own inability to find the right words, 'I love you.' I pulled her face to me and kissed her passionately holding her to me.

'Well I think we're definitely even now Mr Cullen,' she grinned once I'd let her go 'the favour is well and truly repaid.' I laughed at her smug expression, knowing that she had enjoyed satisfying me as much as I'd loved letting her do it. I stroked her back through my shirt her head resting on my shoulder, her hand resting on my chest. I had never felt more calm or content in my entire life than I did at that moment. I was desperately in love with the most beautiful woman in the world who was led in my arms after giving me the most intensely, incredible experience of my life.

It couldn't get much better. Could it?

Holding her against me it suddenly hit me; the answer to my unspoken question. Yes, I thought, it could get better and I realised in that instant that I knew exactly how to do it.

**I realise that Edward had already had a…erm…release with Bella in the shower but I wanted this to be all about him as he's usually so caught up in Bella's needs – do you think it worked?**

**We're getting to the good stuff people, thanks for sticking round – please leave a review because I'm very needy!!!**

**TTFN x x x x**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey folks,**

**This is the only time I will ever do this – but I have posted a new story up 'A Rebel's Love' and would really appreciate all comments. **

**Have a look and tell me what you think.**

**Sorry again about the self promotion but I'd like to know your thoughts.**

**Thanks**

**Jax x x x x**


	9. Chapter 9

**Please, please forgive my cheeky little note for the last chapter about my other story (A Rebel's Love) – it won't happen again *smiles like an angel and crosses heart***

**I can't believe I've hit 60 reviews – you guys are great!!**

**I think I've still got another chapter for this story in me but we'll see…**

**Chapter 8**

**The Hunt**

**EPOV**

It seemed like such an obvious thing once it had occurred to me, but then difficult situations often do have the simplest solutions.

We stayed in the living room for another hour, lying together, holding each other, Bella quietly napping in my arms. I couldn't help but look at her. She was so beautiful, her chocolate hair cascading like waves over my shoulder and her full, red lips moved and twitched as she dreamt, small breaths and murmurs escaping with each one. I watched her, breathing her in, letting her delicious scent wash over me, she was heavenly.

I could have stayed there forever with her, but I knew that she was starting to get cold against me and the wood floor. I raised myself slowly and picked her up in my arms holding her to my chest, her hands snaked around my neck and idly played with my hair. Still in _my_ shirt, I placed her down on my bed, chuckling to myself as she tightened her grip on me and frowned sleepily as I pulled away from her. I eased her hands over her chest with the duvet and as I stood watching from the side of the bed she drifted off into a deeper to sleep.

I headed for the shower, slightly disheartened that I was alone, but glad that Bella was warm and safe in _my_ bed. As I put my head under the warm water feeling it pummel into my hair as my hands dragged through it, I continued to consider, in more detail, how I was going to make this work. How I was going to finally make love to Bella.

Easy, it definitely wouldn't be, hard almost certainly.

But could I overcome the difficulties to give myself over to her? Did I trust myself enough to let myself be so close to her? Did I have the strength to keep my control when I had already witnessed some of the sensations my body would succumb to?

I was torn.

I wanted it so much and knew that Bella felt the same. I definitely had more control than the first time that I had touched her; I had managed to keep my strength in the palms of my hands while hers explored me, every part of me. I felt myself growing hard again at the memory of her touch, so gentle, with so much love, seemingly knowing exactly what my body needed and wanted. Her fingers grasping me just hard enough, manipulating and conjuring, emotions and feelings that I thought had been lost from me.

I put my hands to my face, taking deep breaths through the water as it ran over my mouth, willing my body to calm down, but it was difficult. The image of Bella holding me as I thrust into her hand was not an easy one to ignore. My imagination went into overdrive. My shirt suddenly disappeared leaving Bella naked, her skin shining in the candle light. She was on her back on the pink rug, her eyes and scent beckoning me to take her. I imagined the warmth as I pushed into her, her moans, the tightening of her legs around me as I moved within her, gradually getting faster and faster, and my name rushing from her lips.

I suddenly felt my legs shake; my fists clench and reach for the tiled wall and a quiet groan left my mouth. I looked down in confusion to see the remnants of my fantasy wash down the plug hole with the soapy water of my shower. I shook my head in bemusement. She didn't even have to be in the room, let alone touching me, for her to arouse me enough to come! I switched the shower off and grabbed a towel, laughing quietly into the soft material. How could she ever doubt the way I feel about her or how she makes me feel?

The mind boggled!

I went back into the bedroom, pulling on a pair of boxers and clean black jeans, before climbing onto the bed next to my gorgeous girl. She knew I was there even if she was asleep, watching as the sides of her mouth turned to a smile, whilst she manoeuvred herself under my arm, her face against my chest. A deep sigh swathed my face of her scent, strawberries, silk and honey. I sucked it into my chest feeling it twist and turn in my lungs. Oddly the sensation had started to become a comfort to me as oppose to a torture. It reminded me that I was strong, that I had the ability to keep my demons at bay.

I had to be ready for the next step because, truth be told, holding her against me, feeling her naked thigh press against mine, I was finding it more and more difficult to hold my desire for her back. I felt like the naughty child in the proverbial sweet shop surrounded by every delicious candy imaginable and being told not to touch or taste. But I _had _had a touch, and a taste and I wanted more.

I had to be honest with Bella, I owed her that. I would have to broach the subject with her, tell her my thoughts. I knew she was ready, but I wanted her to understand my concerns, have her complete understanding before we tried. Because it _would _only be an attempt, if things became too much I would have to stop. I knew I would be able to, at least I prayed I could.

No – I had to stop doubting myself and going through the same thing over and over. I'd never know unless I tried. Wasn't that the saying? Yet it seemed fairly obtuse to use it to describe this particular situation.

She slept for another hour, whispering my name and moaning quietly against my chest, driving my already heightened need for her almost to distraction. Her eyes slowly opened and she squeezed me tighter, her leg wrapping over my waist so that the heat from her pressed firmly against me. I swallowed hard, trying to block out the images that had affected me so much whilst I was in the shower, groaning internally as I felt the familiar movement in my groin.

'Hey you,' she croaked at me, pressing her lips to my neck.

'Hey yourself gorgeous,' I whispered against her shoulder taking in another greedy breath of her.

She yawned quietly, 'How long have I been asleep? What time is it?'

'A couple of hours, it's just after ten. Are you ok? Do you want to sleep some more?' I wanted to make sure that when we had the conversation about our next step that she was completely focused and understood exactly where I was coming from. I didn't want her to miss anything.

She smiled and shook her head, tracing her finger across my chest, pausing under my left nipple, before swirling her finger around it. I sucked in a breath through my nose. It wasn't going to help matters being this close to her, in this environment, having an important conversation. I could barely focus myself with her so warm and inviting and gently pushing herself against me.

'Bella?' I asked lifting her hand from my chest and kissing each knuckle in turn.

'Yes Edward?' I pushed her hair gently from her face, watching it as it cascaded and settled softly on her shoulder.

'Would you like to go for a walk with me? I'd like to talk to you about something.' I tried to make my face look as relaxed as possible as I didn't want to alarm her.

But what was I thinking?? This was Bella, fearless, determined, stubborn Bella!

'Of course,' she moved forwards and kissed me, her lips moulding to mine, her hand moving to my face, holding it gently in her palm, a small sign escaped from her mouth to mine, making me wrap my arms around her pulling her to me. Her legs were now resting on either side of my waist and I felt her rub gently against my groin, making me break from the kiss and moan into her hair.

I laughed and pushed her back gently by her shoulders, holding her above me.

'Please Bella. It's important love.' I smiled at her, showing her once again that I wasn't denying her.

She smiled back bashfully and moved off me, across my bedroom, making her way downstairs to get her clothes that were still there from our abandoned truth or dare game.

My phone buzzed on my chest of drawers. Alice.

'Yes Alice,' I answered with a grin, 'I was just about to call you and thank you for the use of your wonderful _toy_, it was…,' I trailed off not really knowing what word would be suitable to use for my sister.

'Incredible, breath-taking, yeah I know,' her voice indicated a smile.

I chuckled, 'Really Alice, thank you.' I meant it. Without the game I was fairly convinced that I would still be at loggerheads with myself about the whole sex thing, it had opened my eyes to what I truly wanted and for that I would be forever grateful.

'No problem, but that's not why I called,' she paused taking a breath.

'Alice? You ok? Is everyone ok?' I tried to sound calm but I felt little flicks of unease whisper up my spine.

'No, no we're all fine Edward. It's just…well…I just wanted to let you know that Bella can use any of my clothes if she needs to.'

I felt my face crunch in confusion, 'What?'

She cleared her throat, a gesture that was neither necessary nor characteristic.

'Alice? What's wrong? What did you see?' My voice could no longer hide the concern that I felt grip my stomach. Why would Bella need Alice's clothes? And more to the point why would she feel the need to ring and tell me, knowing that if Bella needed clothes I would direct her straight to Alice's wardrobe anyway?

'Nothing…important…just,' she never struggled with her words.

Ever.

I felt my frustration and anxiety rise in my chest, 'Alice tell me, what is it?'

She sighed at the other end of the phone, her voice becoming quiet almost desperate, 'Edward, as your sister I'm asking you to trust me more than you ever have about anything before.'

My brows furrowed further and I swallowed hard, 'Alice? Is Bella…,' I couldn't finish.

'Edward, please this is important. Bella's fine, but you must have faith in yourself, always Edward. Promise me you will?' Her voice remained eerily quiet, the cryptic statement making the panic in me push towards the surface.

I didn't know what to say to her; the only thing I did know was that she would never ask me for something unless it was very important and the urgency in her voice told me that this was.

'Ok Alice, I'll try,' my voice had also become a whisper.

'Well that's all I can ask from you,' she sighed 'I'll see you tomorrow Edward, you and Bella. Love you.'

The phone went dead. I held the phone to my ear, listening to the silence at the other end.

What was all that meant to mean? Faith in myself? Why? What had she seen happen?

Then it hit me.

I had decided that Bella and I would try and make love, had something gone wrong? No - that couldn't be it, she had said she'd see me and Bella both tomorrow and there was no way that Alice would let me try something that would harm Bella in any way, she loved her too much to allow that. I hated not knowing but knew that whatever Alice was not saying was important enough to keep to herself, even if it did drive me crazy.

Did that mean that Bella and I had managed to make love without anything bad happening? My silent heart swelled in my chest. That must be it, Alice couldn't tell me what was going to happen in case I lost the faith in myself by becoming complacent; there was no other explanation. But what was the clothes thing all about?

Bella appeared at my door, fully dressed and looking radiant. I smiled at her and slid the phone into my pocket, opening my drawers and pulling out a black t-shirt and grabbing my jacket before taking her hand and leading her out the back door towards the forest. I wouldn't allow myself to think about what Alice had said even though it was still knocking at the insistent part of my brain. I was almost convinced that my theory must be what she was hiding from me and that, I considered, wasn't a bad thing.

I held Bella's hand tight, feeling the warmth of her skin infuse with mine. I strolled with her at her leisurely human pace, revelling in the relaxed and calm atmosphere that had woven its way around us. I couldn't pull my eyes from her. Alice's call had essentially taken the reigns off of my imagination, which was now flitting rapidly from one fantasy of Bella to the next, the thought of her scent, the warmth of her skin, the sounds she would make as I touched her, they all spun endlessly around my head.

The forest was dark but I could see as if it was broad daylight. I smiled as I felt Bella's other hand clasp my arm as she realised that her clumsiness would increase exponentially in the darkness. I slipped my arm around her, holding her so tight I was almost carrying her.

'Are you sure you don't want me to carry you Bella?' I asked with a smile knowing full well what the answer would be.

'No I'm fine; you said you wanted to take a walk not a let's-carry-disabled-Bella-stroll!' I laughed loudly at her face as she said this, frustrated and stubborn.

'Ok, sweetheart,' I smiled rubbing her arm with my hand and kissing her hair. She smelt wonderful, sweet, with a peppering of the sweat that still remained from our time on the sofa.

I pulled her towards a fallen oak trunk that was being illuminated by the moon through the trees in such a way that it looked like a spotlight. I sat myself down knowing that Bella would be able to see better with the flood of light from overhead. I pulled her down sideways on my lap, kissing her face softly.

'So, what did you want to talk about Edward?' it may have been my imagination but something told me that she knew what was coming, I smiled gently at the thought, once again desperate to knock down the wall that separated me from her thoughts.

'Well, I wanted to start off by saying how much I have enjoyed the past two days with you,' I looked at her, seeing her blush appear immediately on her cheeks, delicious and pink.

'Me too Edward, it's been wonderful, better even,' she had suddenly become fixated with the button on my jacket, tracing the circular piece of metal with the pinkie finger of her right hand.

I pulled her closer to me with one hand and lifted her face to me with the other. 'Bella, touching you like that was the most incredible moment of my life. Feeling you in that way and then you doing the same for me has made me realise how much I want you,' I felt her breath push harder onto my face and her heart start to gallop in her chest.

I wanted to tell her how I felt, what I wanted, how I wanted her in all the ways I could think of but I suddenly couldn't speak. My arms had gone rigid around her and the muscles in my back began to twist and turn as the most intense scent of fresh human blood smashed into me as the wind changed. My eyes never left Bella's face and the paralysing fear must have been written all over mine as she put her hands to my cheeks.

'Edward, baby, what is it?' Her eyes narrowed with concern as she stroked my face trying to coax an answer at me, but I couldn't speak. I was frozen, concentrating on controlling the creature that was snarling under my skin whilst the venom poured into my mouth, holding onto the one person whose blood had seemed to be designed specifically for me.

I had learnt to deal with human blood over my time with Carlisle acclimating myself, with students in school, strangers on the street and had won the battle. But it was something different entirely to smell freshly spilt, warm, human blood whilst Bella was so close to me. Because as the scent washed over me again through the breeze the horror of the situation engulfed me. It wasn't the unfamiliar blood that my body was craving for, I realised.

It was hers.

With my emotions and boundaries having been pushed to the limits over the last two days my desire for her blood had crept up on me like a monster in the night. And now I sat Bella pinned in my arms wanting to delve my teeth into her and taste her.

_I wanted to taste her so much._

'Blood…Bella,' I whispered with a ragged breath, my teeth clamping together.

The blush faded immediately from her face. 'Where?' she frowned keeping her eyes on mine, her hands never leaving my face.

I had held my breath, almost immediately after the scent had hit me. Every word took more of that precious breath from me, 'North, about 500 feet,' I tightened my grip on her, trying my hardest to not be distracted by the feel of her heart hitting my chest through our clothes, or the pulse that danced in her throat.

'Male, 25 years old,' I croaked 'he's fallen, broken his leg, the bone…through…the skin,' my eyes rolled in my head as the thoughts of the young man and his partner swam into my head. He was screaming in pain whilst the girl, her hands caked in blood, dialled for an ambulance in a blind panic. I could see the extent of his injuries in her head, there was so much blood, pouring from the wound on his leg, pulsing down his dark skin to become a dark, shimmering puddle on the forest floor.

_Warm, luxuriant, rich, dark blood_.

How had I not heard them? I should have smelt them before this! What was happening to me? My senses were all over the place!

It was Bella.

Being around her was numbing the vampire part of me, quashing it, making it almost invisible to everyone, including me. I was so wrapped up in her that I had put her in danger.

Again.

'Does he need help?' Bella whispered. If I hadn't been concentrating so much on not killing her I would have laughed in her face. Here she was locked in a thirsty vampire's grasp and she was worried about a complete stranger. I managed to shake my head in answer to her absurd question.

'But you might,' I sobbed, letting out a low growl as I felt the poison of the shadows within me flick at every limb and muscle in my body, telling me, screaming at me, pushing at me to take her, to put my mouth to her neck and take her. My fists were clenched so tight with my resistance it almost felt painful. I increased my grip on Bella, moving her closer to me; my face and her neck were just inches apart.

She saw the war that raged in me in the deep blackness of my eyes and her breathing increased quickly, her heart hammered against her ribs, against my chest pushing her delicious blood around her body.

'Bella…I …_need_…want…_ah_,' I growled again, louder this time with the force it took to beat the blood lust back, knowing that the darkness was so close to overwhelming me. Then Alice's voice pushed its way back to my consciousness.

Faith.

She had told me to have faith in myself. But how was I meant to have faith in a body that wanted nothing more than to ravage the woman I loved, drain her of her life? Take away my one purpose in life in seconds with no thought of the life I'd have after.

Stupid – I would have _no_ life after!

Still staring at her, willing the fire to cease, I barely registered Bella's hands move to my neck, holding me, rubbing her warm hands on my skin, 'Edward, I love you, stay with me, it's ok,' she said the words through tears and gentle sobs, her thumbs continually circling my throat, soothing me, 'What can I do baby? Please let me help you…,' but she couldn't help, she was the problem, the source of the anguish that battled within me, she had to get away from me, but my body still refused to let her go.

How could she help? How could she do anything other than watch the man she loved kill her?

'Can I distract you? Edward,' she held my face then rubbed her hands through my hair, 'please fight it…I love you…,' her voice had lost the echo that had tainted it at the height of my thirst, I had gained back a tiny part of myself, but the danger was far from over.

Distraction? What could possibly distract me from the exquisite scent of her?

Faith Edward.

'I…_need to_…taste you…_Bella_…taste you…,' my breath was gone, clenching my teeth I sucked slowly, feeling her scent slip like shards of glass down my throat, but there was something else there, something that erased a small part of the darkness that was hanging over me.

I could smell her. Bella. The scent of her deep, dark, hot centre, still ready for me from our touches and caresses earlier. It was like a lubricant, slowly and surely easing the tension in my hands and arms, but it was too faint to get any further around my body, so I sucked in again, the pain of the burn, diluted infinitesimally by her lusty aroma. I needed more.

'Bella…undo your jeans…,' she didn't even pause, moving her hands to release the zip and button, allowing more of the essence to escape, wafting to my nostrils erasing more of the dark, almost like a breath of daylight. My groin reacted immediately.

That was it – the distraction. I needed more.

With hardly any care or thought at all I gripped the denim waistband of her jeans and pulled, the seams groaning under the pressure, eventually ripping, before I threw them behind me. Bella's face shifted from fear, to shock to lust in seconds.

'More Bella…please…,' I moaned at her. With my grip on her slightly weaker than it was she managed to shift herself so that she was straddling my legs. Slowly she began grinding into me, her panties becoming as hot and wet as her body, the scent was becoming stronger with every gyration of her hips. She started to moan as she felt my erection press against her. I was still being held captive by the creature inside me but I could feel his grip lessen and lessen as the scent of Bella enveloped me.

More still.

I still needed to taste her, feel her on my tongue, in my throat, feel her essence within me.

With a roar of determination I gripped Bella by the tops of her arms and pushed her to the forest floor. Before she had time to protest, question or even scream I tore her panties from her, throwing them back with the same disregard as her jeans. She groaned loudly arching her back as the material left her body.

'Edward…taste me… _please_,' her hands were travelling down her body, playing with the soft hairs between her thighs, flicking gently into her folds.

I took one last deep breath of her before delving my mouth between her thighs to the soft wet flesh that waited for me. The aroma smashed about my head, slowly extinguishing the equally violent scent of the strangers and Bella's blood.

It was tantalising, sweet, sour, hot, creamy, hints of mint, strawberries, flowers and me. I pulled her into my lungs, gasping against her skin, letting my mouth caress her, my lips lingering over her entrance, feeling slick from the wetness that granted me easy access, moving up towards her clit, my nose running over the tiny bundle of nerves there.

But it still wasn't enough. I wanted more. I was the most selfish, crazy, love-struck vampire in the world and I wanted more.

'Fuck…Edward…_please_…,' Bella was almost shouting, her hands grabbing at my hair, pushing me closer to her, wanting to feel more of me on her.

I couldn't deny either of us anymore. I had to have faith in myself.

My tongue snaked slowly out of my mouth and gently grazed the tip of her clit. Her reaction was to cry out in pleasure whilst arching her back, her hands scratching violently at the skin on my scalp.

No sound of pain left her, no screams to describe the burning that I was convinced would sear through her. Just pleasure, ecstasy, intense want and need for more.

With the knowledge that I hadn't hurt her dancing around my head, I pushed my forearms against her thighs, pushing her legs up high so that her knees were almost touching her chest. I had to get closer to her. I snaked my tongue over her clit, circling it, flicking it, from its tip and back down, encouraged by the animalistic grunts and moans coming from Bella's mouth.

I moved down to her burning, drenched centre and let my tongue slide into her, tasting her wetness. The intense flavours made my eyes roll back in my head and a moan erupt from my mouth. The desire for her blood inched back further and further with each lap of the lusty juices that flowed from her. I was hungry for her in such different ways now. I was hungry for her moans, her cries and her orgasm.

Returning to her clit and sucking the flesh hard between my lips, I slid two fingers into her, twisting them to face upwards stroking the skin that would bring her to the edges of delirium. She was so wet my fingers met no resistance as I began to thrust them into her, my knuckles meeting her flesh with each one. My tongue continued dancing over her clit, using the tip to coax every cry of desire from Bella.

I looked at her face to see it was twisted in what looked like pain, the back of her head, buried into the soil of the forest, arching her back whilst pushing herself harder against my mouth, meeting me thrust for thrust. Knowing that she was close I pushed another finger into her; again it was quickly drenched and found its rhythm with the others easily. I found her breast with my other hand, tearing at her t-shirt and bra to get to the flesh underneath, pinching and teasing her nipple when I got there.

'_Oh_…oh…_Ed_-…,' she couldn't speak; her teeth were clenched together so tightly no words could escape.

I thrust my fingers harder, my hand slapping against her, my tongue, now almost lightening fast, flicked from the left and right, then up and down, the scent was now like a smog around me, blocking out every other living, breathing, bleeding creature on the planet.

'_Fuuuuck_…Edward…,' I pushed harder into her, the fear of hurting her seemingly absent, as my tongue met her again and again.

She lifted, moaned, twisted, cried, grabbed at me then bucked her hips so violently I had to grab her and hold her down. The sounds she made were like nothing I have ever witnessed, growls, sobs, mews, gasping for air as she continued to thrust against my fingers. The walls of her flesh closed over my hand again and again as her orgasm slammed through her body, soaking my hand down to my wrist. My tongue lapped her up taking in every last drop of her, feeling the beautiful liquor slide effortlessly down my throat.

I moaned and growled as I felt her body begin to relax, her hips slumping to the ground, her eyes were still scrunched tight while her mouth was open wide, her breath pushing her lips further and further apart. My thrusts slowed and my tongue eased against her, feeling her almost pull away from the intense feeling, of my flesh against hers.

I gradually pulled my fingers from her, waited until her eyes opened, before bringing them to my mouth and sucking and licking her exquisite liquid off every one. She moaned my name as I did. I let her feet land softly on the soil and fell forwards between her thighs, holding myself up by my hands that were resting either side of her waist. I let my head drop from her gaze closing my eyes tight, feeling the potential horror of the situation sneak its way up my back.

_Strength Edward; she's fine, faith that was all that was needed._

How could Alice have let me put Bella at such risk? How could she let me teeter so close to the edge of monstrous? I shook my head wanting very much to cry, to show the terror I felt on the inside, on the outside.

'Edward?' Bella's voice was quiet and cautious, 'Edward, sweetheart look at me.' She placed her hand under my chin and I let her lift my head. Her face seemed to relax slightly when she saw that my eyes were regaining some of their golden tint. I could feel the tension in them slipping away. She pulled my face towards her allowing me to fall, gently onto her chest. Her hands stroked my hair and she laid small kisses along my scalp.

How could she still want me after I had behaved in such a way?

I had nearly killed her! Hadn't I?

Could I have killed her? Absolutely.

But did I?

No.

And there it was. My epiphany.

The reason that Alice hadn't told me what was going to happen, the reason that she had told me to have faith in myself, was because I needed this. As crazy and masochistic as it sounded I had needed to experience this to confirm what I already knew in places that I was too scared and doubt-ridden to look. I was completely, obsessively, desperately and insanely in love with Bella and nothing, not even her own blood could drive me to hurt her. No freshly spilt blood, nothing, could make me do anything that would bring harm to her.

I was strong enough. I had to go to hell and back to realise it but I was.

I raised my head and brought my lips to Bella's, trying to let her know that I was ok. She kissed me back passionately her tongue searching for mine. After a moments hesitation I let my tongue meet hers, groaning into her mouth. She wrapped her arms and legs around me pulling me to her.

'I love you Bella, so much, I'm sorry,' she put her fingers to my lips to stop my apology, I smiled gently at the gesture, 'but I know why this had to happen.'

She smiled back at me, 'Because you needed to know you could be so close to me with your guard down without hurting me.' It wasn't even a question! I blinked at her, realisation washing over me.

Alice.

'Don't be mad at her Edward, she text me and gave me a heads up,' she pushed my hair from my face, 'and I'm glad she did,' she kissed my still stunned face.

She'd known what was going to happen; the whole time and never said anything. 'What did she say?' I stuttered, my mind flitting from wanting to rip Alice's head off to losing myself in Bella for being so trusting and wonderful.

'Just that we would be put in a situation that would make you…erm…different and to trust you and do whatever I could to help you,' she paused looking deeply into my eyes, 'I did help didn't I?'

I laughed with no humour, 'Yes you helped Bella but you shouldn't…,' she didn't let me finish putting her lips to mine in a soft kiss, I sighed against her, knowing that my anger was fairly much nonexistent at this point, but I still couldn't understand why she would put herself in that position, knowing how dangerous it could be.

'Why Bella?' I looked at her shaking my head slowly.

She beamed at me, her eyes sparkling in the moonlight, 'Because you're Edward. My Edward and I trust you with all of my mind, body and soul as well as being insanely and desperately in love with you.' She looked at me then and I knew that she meant every word. She, like me, was willing to put her life on the line for the one she loved, ignore the risks and take it no matter what the consequences. We were in this together, partners against whatever would come our way.

With a smile I dropped my head again, suddenly realising that she was practically naked, lying in the soil on a freezing forest floor.

'My God, Bella!' I jumped up quickly pulling her with me, slipping off my jacket and throwing it around her. I stood back to admire the fact that the bottom of it just barely covered her beautiful backside, her pale skin almost translucent in the moon's rays. I smoothed my hand down her thigh hearing her breathing hitch slightly.

'Well I suppose we'll have to raid Alice's wardrobe when we get in?' I chuckled moving to collect her jeans and the small remnants of fabric that were her panties. I raised my eyebrow sheepishly to her as I held them up.

She pushed the clothes out of my hands, 'Why bother?' she chuckled looking at my puzzled face, 'clothes are overrated anyway,' she laughed and threw herself into my arms her hands around my neck kissing me hard enough to let me know that she loved me so very much.

I returned the kiss letting my tongue invade her mouth, tasting her once again, knowing that right then I couldn't have agreed more.

**Again I'm sorry it's a long one – but you know me once I get going!**

**I kind of played around with the whole vampire senses and venom on the tongue thing I know but I had to, to make the story work – sorry!**

**I quite like how this turned out (dangerous Edward is tres hot, hot, hot!) but you know better than me – so please let me know!**

**Reviews are love people and I need lots!**

TTFN x x x 


	10. Chapter 10

**Wow! I am truly made up with the response to this story – thanks so much!**

**Well here it is the final chapter – any guesses to how it'll end??**

**It's all Stephenie Meyer's, not mine, no fair!!!**

**Chapter 9: Moving Forward**

**EPOV**

The sensation of having Bella's tongue against mine was incredible. Tasting her breath so intimately against the skin of my tongue, twisting and folding, licking and caressing, exploring new parts of each other was spellbinding.

We stood there in the forest for what seemed like an eternity, our mouths moulding together in our passion, pushing at each other, wanting to get so much closer than our faces would allow. I smiled against Bella's mouth thinking how ironic it was, that we _both _wanted to consume each other now.

_She_ wanted to consume _me_!

Devour me; have me inside her in every way.

My eyes rolled into my head and my grip on her face increased as I thought about the possibilities of that fact, groaning into her mouth as I felt her hips push against me, grinding against my groin, increasing the ache that had never faded since I had had my mouth against her sweet flesh.

I wanted her so much; every part of her.

I pulled away from her gently, running my hand through her hair, pulling out small twigs as I did. She giggled looking at the collection of forest debris that had made its way into her brunette halo. I smiled back at her, my eyes still brimming with desire for her. She was so beautiful, warm, innocent, trusting and more importantly she was mine. I stood gazing at her, my Bella, my adoration for her spilling from every pore. She moved her head back to get a clearer look at the expression on my face, her smile becoming a huge grin.

'What is it Edward?' her hand stroked my face from my temple to my chin, to my neck, lingering against my throat.

'I love you Bella,' my voice came out in a low whisper, she blinked slowly in response. But there was more to say, I knew. I had to say it then. I could feel the words edging their way up my throat, pushing against my tongue that had taken her and tasted her so willingly, so eagerly. I had to tell her what I wanted, what I so desperately needed. Her eyes burned into mine, a knowing sheen gliding over her chocolate irises. She knew, but she had to hear it too.

Unconsciously I steadied my feet, feeling suddenly unstable on my marble legs. I placed both of my hands on her face, cupping her so that my index fingers rested gently against the bottom of her ear lobes, her hair whispering against the backs of my hands. I breathed in deeply, feeling her pulse quicken and her body become warm and wet. She blushed knowing that I could sense her body's reaction to me. I smiled at her, my eyes tracing every line and curve of her exquisite face.

'I want you so much Bella,' my voice remained low, struggling to escape my mouth. I slid my thumb across her jaw line, keeping my eyes on her beautiful full lips as she slowly bit into them top and bottom, nervously.

'I want you too Edward, I always have,' I rolled my eyes slightly knowing that I should have said just that and I suddenly became very aware of my own nervousness and seeming incapability at producing full sentences.

I knew I had nothing to be nervous about in terms of Bella's reaction to my request but it didn't stop me from being nervous about what would follow immediately after the words had left me. I felt her hands slide over my forearms gripping them gently almost willing the words to come. I laughed with no humour, shaking my head slowly, completely confused at my inability to tell her exactly how much I wanted her.

I took another deep breath, letting it release slowly down my nose and looked at her once again slowly, from chin to hairline, to her eager brown eyes.

'Bella, I want you,' I breathed in again feeling her hands tighten on my arms, 'I need you,' I moved my face closer to hers, her lips glistening from her tongue wetting them repeatedly, the tip of my nose grazing the bridge of hers, 'I want to make love to you, Bella,' I pulled my face back stunned at the incredible pace at which her heart had started to hammer in her chest, her face was almost crimson, her breaths ragged and quick, I smiled slowly before moving my mouth to her ear, 'right now.'

A small moan crept from her mouth as an overwhelming scent of lust from between her legs caught me in a head lock, my senses spinning, my groin aching for her. I closed my eyes and breathed her in; smiling at the control I had over my demon. He was locked up, tightly bound and would not stop me from having my Bella the way I truly wanted.

I looked at her face; her lids were heavy with lust and longing, 'Bella?' I moved my hands from her neck to her shoulders, down her arms to her hands, clutching them tightly against my chest, wishing desperately that she could feel how she made my frozen heart stutter, she was silent, staring into my eyes, 'Tell me what your thinking sweetheart, please?' her body was telling me everything but, like her, I needed to hear the words.

She breathed heavily against my cheek, moving her mouth to the edge of mine grazing her tongue against my skin, pausing before a soft whisper escaped from her, 'Take me to bed Edward.'

There they were, the beautiful words that I had been longing to hear, words that made parts of my body react in a way I never thought possible. Before she could take another breath I had pulled her onto my back and was racing back to the house, my legs pushing me with all the longing and passion I had been holding back for so long, spurred on by the feeling of having Bella's bare flesh wrapped around me as I ran.

I flew through the door, up the stairs to my bedroom, the need growing with every step, until I reached my bedroom. I stopped at my bedroom door suddenly feeling Bella's heart thumping into my back, her grip around my neck hard and fierce.

'Edward? What's wrong?' her voice was small and quiet but without a hint of nerves.

It had suddenly occurred to me, I wanted to make this moment special for her, a moment that she would always remember, I wanted to treat her how she deserved to be treated – like the goddess she is. My emotions and body were so tightly wound for her at that moment that I was suddenly concerned that I wouldn't be able to hold back in my worship of her, that the moment would be rushed, too rough and not the gentle, loving experience that I wanted to give her.

_Take a breath Edward; you've made it this far, take your time._

I reached around and pulled her to the front of my body, never letting her feet touch the ground, holding her to me as tight as I knew I could. I smiled at her and without saying a word in answer to her questioning gaze made my way to the bathroom.

The main bathroom of the house was obviously just for show, as we each had a bathroom in our rooms, but that hadn't stopped Esme from going all out on the facilities and design. A bath of black marble, that was sunk into the floor, rested at the far end of the room, six silver plated taps protruded from three of its sides, black granite side boards stood along the right side of the wall which held a silver framed mirror that ran the entire length of the room.

The wall that held the bath was made of glass and looked out over the forest and wilderness to the mountains in the distance, draping that were gossamer curtains of white and silver that shimmered in the moonlight.

I flicked the light switch with my elbow, watching as the spotlights around the mirror slowly burned to a romantic glow. Bella's eyes widened when she took it all in, her luscious lips opening slightly in wonder, I suppressed a moan and ran my finger along her bare thigh. The room was stunning but it was even more breathtaking with Bella in it.

I walked over to the bath, still holding her in my arms, and pushed the silver plug in before turning on all six taps. I grabbed the nearest bottle of bath cream I could find and poured some under the flowing water. I placed her down slowly onto her feet.

'If it's ok Bella, before we…,' I smiled and looked at my dirt stained jacket still draped around her muddy shoulders, '…I'd like to wash you.' I kept my eyes on her, ready to identify any hesitation or sign of dislike. She was silent for a beat before removing my jacket and letting it pool around her feet, standing before me in nothing more than a torn t-shirt. She raised her hands above her head and smiled as, after realising what she wanted, I pulled the t-shirt slowly over her head.

Her body was exquisite, perfect, and flawless and I wanted to touch it, everywhere.

My hand moved slowly towards her breast, Bella's head lolled back slightly, sucking in a quick breathe, as she watched my movement, but before I got to her I lifted her and placed her into the hot water of the bath. Her face was surprised before she turned to me with a stern look, 'Tease!' she said before giggling quietly. She let her head fall back against the side of the bath, breathing the scent of the bath cream in, which was the most amazing scent of…strawberries?

_Alice!_

The water was hot enough to make a line of perspiration appear on Bella's hairline, blushing her cheeks to the most delicious pink. I leaned over and turned the water off before sitting on the side gazing down at her, drowning in her beauty. She winked at me and slowly slid under the water, bubbles racing to the surface as she breathed out, before coming back to the surface strawberry bubbles clinging to her beautiful skin. She slowly opened her eyes, 'Aren't you going to join me Edward?' her face was serious, but her eyes betrayed her, a craving equal to mine tinted the brown around her pupils.

I lifted myself off the bath, undoing my jeans and letting them fall to the floor. Bella's eyes never left mine, her heart started to throb, echoing off the marble and granite of the room. I lifted my t-shirt over my head and paused, letting her take me in, 'I love you Edward,' her words like a comfort blanket, pulled my hands to my boxer briefs and pushed them down, her eyes still never leaving mine.

I stalked towards the bath and gently lowered myself into the water opposite her. The sensation of the water on my skin began to calm me almost immediately which, considering the company was quite a feat!

After sitting for a measure of minutes watching Bella relax in the water, our eyes never drifting or even blinking from one another, I picked up a small white face cloth and pushed it through the water, clenching and unclenching the bubbles through the material. I moved slowly towards her, her heart galloping in her chest, my hand finding her left foot first. She breathed out deeply as, on my knees, I pulled her foot out of the water and rested it on my right shoulder.

I skimmed the white cloth over her foot, down its bridge, to her ankle, her calf, down to her creamy white thigh, pushing a little harder over her skin as it dipped in the water between her legs. She moaned quietly, lifting her back off the marble slightly, watching my every move. Her bottom lip remained in her mouth as I put that foot down and lifted her right, repeating the movements exactly.

When I had finished I put her leg back under the water and put my hands around her waist, sliding her across the marble so that her legs were on either side of me, her head coming to my throat. I put the white cloth to her shoulder and moved it gently around the back of her neck, under her hair to the other shoulder using gentle circular movements, moving lower down her back. My breathing hitched as I felt her warm lips meet the hollow of my throat as I leaned over her, her tongue flitting across my skin.

'Raise your arms Bella' I growled. Without hesitating she raised her arms above her head letting her wrists fall limply against her head. I pulled the cloth from her shoulder, down to her collarbone, dancing along its fragile form, to her throat, down to the middle of her breasts. My breathing was heavy and my groin pulsed as I brought the cloth over her right breast, cupping her and hissing through my teeth as I felt her nipple harden immediately.

'Edward…,' it was almost a whisper that left her mouth as her eyes closed for the first time since I'd joined her in the bath.

'Yes baby?' I breathed skimming my lips over her cheek, letting my tongue gently caress her bottom lip.

She didn't answer, simply smiling and breathing in as my hand moved to her other breast, I couldn't resist in keeping my fingers against her soft skin, tracing around her nipple, gently pulling and teasing it to its full peak. As her breathing increased in tempo I found myself moving towards her, my tongue finding her nipple quickly before flicking and circling it. I groaned loudly as I felt Bella's hands in my hair, pulling me closer to her, my hand clasped her skin tightly as my mouth devoured her breast.

I slowly pushed her back down into the water, finding myself submerged as I continued to suck and lick her beautiful skin, her nipple hard and round against my tongue.

Her legs gradually raised around me, her skin slick with the water, sliding over my hips, pulling me closer against her. I lifted my head out of the water and growled loudly as I felt my erection slide against the soft flesh of her centre.

The feelings were glorious, my body ached for her, feeling her skin moist and warm in the water, sliding against me. I caught her head and pulled her lips to mine, my tongue retracing its route back into her mouth, both of us moaning loudly at the contact, '_Jesus_ Bella…what you _do_ to me…,' I lifted from her mouth and moved to her throat tasting the magnificent strawberry water as it clung to her skin, lapping it up from her throat back up to her mouth.

I had to get closer.

My hand travelled down her body, sliding over her nipple to her navel, down further coming between her legs, '_Please_ Edward…_touch_ me…,' I smiled at the memory of the last time she had said that to me, and like before I didn't need telling twice. I pushed two fingers into her, knowing from the scent of her that she was wet and ready for them.

She moaned loudly and wrapped her legs tightly around my back, her hands still in my hair, pulling hard showing me she wanted more. I thrust my fingers into her, curving my hand upwards and stroking her, her head snapping back so that I could lick and kiss her neck, up to her jaw and back again.

'Oh…_god_…Edward…_ah_…,' her eyes scrunched tight and her hands did the same as she clawed at my hair, down to my back, I pushed another finger into her, my thumb finding her clit, circling and rubbing again and again. '…more Edward…more…,' I moaned as I managed to push another finger into her, my thrusts becoming harder, faster, my brain wishing with every thrust to hear her cry out in pleasure, 'Come Bella…_please_…baby…'

She lifted from the bottom of the bath slowly, holding onto me with all her strength, grabbing at me with each movement, before she bucked and snapped her body backwards screaming as she did, 'Oh…_ah_…_fuck_…oh,' I held her tight against me my hand still thrusting as her orgasm ripped through her. I kissed her, hard, pushing my tongue into her panting mouth wanting to taste her orgasm as it left her.

* * * *

I gradually removed my hand from her using it to pull her body against me on my side of the bath, her head against my shoulder, her breathing still heavy. I stroked her hair, breathing her in, she smelt so good in the water, almost better than she did at any other time. She snuggled closely to me and I became increasingly aware of her straddling me, her centre inches from my now insanely hard erection.

'Bella honey, are you ready for bed?' I closed my eyes quickly when I realised what I'd said and huffed loudly, 'I mean…that's _not_ what I mean…what I mean is…,' her lips stopped my progressively embarrassing ramble. I felt her lips curl into a smile against mine and her hands travel down my chest, so slowly I thought I might explode, before resting on my thighs.

'Yes I know what you mean and yes, I mean, I am ready for bed but not in the way you mean,' I tried to smile at her attempt at mocking me before realising I had no idea what she meant!

I frowned at her, 'Bella? In English please?' I couldn't help but chuckle at the situation or the conversation.

'In English?' she whispered looking up to the ceiling in a way that was completely adorable then looking back at me, her eyes hungry, focused and sexy as hell, 'I want you to make love to me,' she moved to my ear and breathed heavily before licking my ear lobe, 'right now.'

I nearly slipped down the bath as her words spun around my head. I laughed a nervous laugh and shook my head at her, 'Bella sweetheart, for someone who claims to be a flirting disaster,' I lowered my voice and pressed my lips to her neck, 'you sure know how to make me hard for you.' I knew that it was unfair to her, knowing what talking like that did to her, _and me_, but it just seemed right to let her know what she really did to me.

She groaned and rotated her hips above mine, moving closer to my aching body, wrapping her arms around my neck. I blinked at her slowly, regaining my composure, and breathed in deeply before lifting us both out of the bath. I grabbed a large white towel as I walked down the corridor back to my room, throwing it around both of us.

I stood in my room at the end of the bed, hoping beyond hope that this moment would be as special as I wanted it to be, for both of us. I slowly climbed onto the bed, with Bella still cradled in my arms and lay us both down, side by side, face to face. Her body was warm and wet next to me, her hair was starting to dry in some places making the curls more prominent, her face still held a luscious blush that lingered from her breasts to her neck and her face.

'Damn you're beautiful,' I was surprised as the words slipped out in a whisper and smiled her favourite smile as she blushed further.

'Not too bad yourself Cullen,' she giggled quietly, snuggling down into the pillow. I took a deep breath through my nose and ran my fingers over her lips, watching as they parted slightly under my touch.

'Bella, I've wanted this for so long, I can't believe we're here now,' I smiled again, 'it feels like all my dreams have come true, you're my love,' I kissed her chin, 'my life,' I kissed her cheek, 'my everything Bella,' I licked her top lip, 'I love you,' I sighed moving closer to her, my other hand sliding into the curve of her waist, coming to rest at the bottom of her back, feeling her skin move and pimple in reaction to my cold skin.

'I know,' she breathed her eyelids blinking slowly, her hands tracing the lines of my stomach, lingering at the bottom of my belly button, desperate to move further down, 'I love you so much, sometimes I find it hard to put into words, you're everything I want and need Edward,' she moved her hand further down, trailing through the hair on my stomach, I breathed in quickly through my nose, 'and right now I want and need you inside me.'

A growl erupted from my chest as I pulled her face to mine, my tongue pushing against her lips, demanding entrance into her sensational mouth. She opened to me and I delved my tongue in, twisting my tongue against hers, tasting her incredible essence, snaking around against the soft skin of the inside of her cheeks, to the tip of her tongue and back again, her breath hot and ragged on my skin as she lifted her leg over my hip, bringing me closer to her. I moaned again feeling my groin pulse and move with need, as it pressed into her stomach.

My hand travelled down, cupping her behind, raising her so that she was straddling my thighs, the heat from her wet centre throbbing against me with each grind of her hips. Her skin was so soft under my hands as I ran them up her back, tracing her spine, up to her hair and tangling my fingers into it, the scent of strawberries stunning me. Her mouth left mine and moved frantically to my throat where she nibbled licked and grazed her teeth against my skin.

I groaned loudly as her teeth bit harder into the skin just above my collarbone, my hips lifting to her in reaction, '_Bella_…just…_slow_…baby….,' I panted into her hair, gulping her into my lungs. She looked up at me, her chin resting on my right nipple, a sheepish grin on her face.

She bit her bottom lip, 'I'm sorry,' she whispered placing another kiss on my chest, her hair falling against my skin. I smiled back, moving my hands up and down the tops of her arms slowly.

'It's ok Bella, I love that you want me so much,' I pulled her face to me so that her body was lying over the full length of mine, her right thigh sneaking between mine as mine did the same, her movements pressing and rubbing me in all the right places, I breathed in deeply the desire in my stomach pounding it's way to my groin. I was so hard for her it almost hurt.

I kissed her nose gently, 'I think that…,' I rolled her over quickly but delicately so that I was now above her, carefully resting my weight on my hands on either side of her face, '…this is a better position.' I grinned at her, before running my tongue from the hollow of her throat to her bottom lip which I carefully sucked into my mouth. I slowly pushed her legs open with my knees to allow both my legs between them. She wrapped her warm legs behind my thighs and placed her hands on my ribs, stroking them up and down my skin.

'I just want to make sure you're ok, Bella,' I searched her face for her understanding, 'I can be in control of the situation better like this,' she smiled at me as I realised that my words may have been misinterpreted by her, 'It's just so I can make sure I'm not hurting you Bella,' I stuttered, 'if I hurt you I would…,' she put her fingers to my lips, tracing each one in silence.

'You won't hurt me Edward, but I know what you need and I want you to feel in control,' her hand moved to my face stroking my cheek, I couldn't help but press my face against her warm skin, closing my eyes as I did, 'I want you to feel happy,' her other hand went to my hair running through it, her nails scraping gently against my scalp, 'and I want you to feel how much I love you.'

She pulled my mouth to hers placing the most gentle, sweet kiss against my lips. I moaned softly as her breath washed over me. I lowered slowly from resting on my hands to my forearms, my lips grazing hers, the tip of my tongue tracing her mouth; she moaned as I did, curling her legs tighter around the back of my thighs. I moved my hips towards her, the heat from her pulsing towards me, beckoning my body forward.

I lifted my face so that I could see her eyes, they were gorgeous and sparkling with lust, I gradually moved my hips pushing myself against her wet flesh, hissing out a breath at the sensations hammering in my groin. Using my hand I guided my hardness, rubbing it through her slick folds over her clit and back down, growling as Bella moved her hips against me panting and groaning softly.

'_Yes_ Edward…_mmm_…so good…,' her eyes rolled back slightly as I continued rubbing myself, my hand drenched from the luscious liquid that covered her sex.

'Oh Bella…,' I sighed watching her face as my body moved against hers again and again. The tightness in my body was different to that which I'd felt before. It was tight with anticipation, it was tight with the need to be inside her, and it was tight with the intense feeling of electricity sparking at the tops of my thighs to my hips, to my hands into the part of my body that I held tightly against her.

I slowed my movements, resting myself at her entrance, a little longer with each downward motion. Her hips rose to me, I knew that she was ready, the heat, moisture and sounds coming from her made that abundantly clear. I lowered myself to her entrance one last time, fighting the need to thrust wildly into her and placed my arms back at the sides of her head. I kissed her mouth my eyes still glued to hers lifting only slightly so that my nose was touching hers.

'Are you ok?' I breathed feeling my hips move forward infinitesimally into her, she nodded her breathing shallow and loud, 'Are you ready Bella?' she smiled and nodded again still not speaking, her heart beat telling me everything I needed to know as it slammed between us so hard I thought it was my own, she was ready, I was ready, this was what I had wanted for so long, 'I love you,' I whispered.

I kissed her mouth again and pushed myself slowly into her.

_Oh. My……_

The heat, the wet, the tightness around me sent the same electric sparks into overload, shooting through my back to my head, down my legs to my feet and back up again, the desire to thrust hard overwhelmed me and I grit my teeth, a hiss of breath passing through them. Bella's eyes were on my face and she moaned softly in response to my movement. I was moving painfully slow into her, waiting for any resistance or sign of discomfort to cross Bella's face.

She lifted her shoulders off the bed slightly when I pushed in further, meeting the resistance I had anticipated, I moved back slowly only to have her pull me back with her feet against my thighs, 'It's ok…don't move a minute…,' she closed her eyes and breathed deeply before smiling and finding my face again.

'Are you _sure_…it's ok? Did…it hurt?' my words struggled to come out as my body fought against the urges to slam into her, my focus slipping minutely as I felt another rush of warmth against me. She shook her head and kissed me, her feet lifting so that they rested at the bottom of my spine pulling me into her further, so slowly, till I was totally engulfed by her, both of us moaning at the union we had desired for so long.

'Oh my _god_...Bella…it's…_so_…_ah_,' I couldn't put into words the feeling of finally being inside her, feeling her around me so completely, the sensations that shot through me as I pulled back slowly, almost removing myself from her entirely, before pushing back into her. I brought my head back as I repeated the long thrusts again and again, my name leaving Bella's lips with each one.

I kissed her lips, down her throat to her chest, licking all the way back up again, her mouth pressing against mine as her legs tightened around me. My thrusts became shorter, deeper my body wanting to be inside her longer, to feel every inch of her, 'Harder Edward,' Bella breathed in my ear, I looked at her, never stopping in my thrusts, pushing back into her a little harder each time waiting for her to tell me if it was too much – she never did.

Her hold on me was becoming desperate as she began to move her hips against me, grinding as I moved in her over and over. Her hands were in my hair, pulling hard with every thrust I made, a growl leaving me every time she increased her grip. I clenched my fists at the sides of her head, holding onto the covers of the bed, feeling the mattress groan under my strength.

'Bella…_oh…ah_…,' My thrusts had now become short, firm, quick and excruciatingly deep, my grip on the bed became so much that I felt the covers rip in my hands. The tautness in my stomach pushed its way over my back, pushing my hips harder, up my back to my head, to my mouth, releasing moan after groan after growl, my eyes shutting tightly with the intense wave of pleasure that was weaving its way over and through my body.

Bella's moaning grew louder as she pulled my mouth to hers our tongues slamming together; invading each others mouths, 'Edward…oh…_fuck_…I'm…_oh_…,' I felt the walls of her around me begin to grip me harder and I couldn't help but increase my speed, spurred on also by the words that she had used. Her hands moved to grip me behind my neck as she lifted herself, impaling herself onto me, throwing her head back and smashing her hips into mine over and over.

Our cries and calls were deafening, but I didn't care as I pushed into her once, twice again, Bella's mouth suddenly forming into a perfect 'O' shape. On the third thrust she screamed my name, clawing my back, grabbing me with her arms and legs, pushing and pulsing against me, her wetness pushing its way up my length onto my stomach allowing her to slide effortlessly along me.

Her orgasm rippled along me conjuring a feeling in me so intense it took my breath away, my hips buried me into her, my tongue and mouth suddenly frantic over her body, every muscle and nerve inside me was set alight, building and growing inside every part of me. The mattress gave way under my grip, filling my palms with sponge and metal coils, as the wave of intensity climbed over me higher and higher, my growls echoing off the walls as I cried out for her again and again.

The feeling was so overwhelming and so high that I began panting, each thrust pushing the breath from me, as Bella remained moulded to my body her hips still moving with mine, the ripples of her pleasure still flowing through her. I lifted my head from kissing her breast and looked up at her.

'Bella…,' I panted the wave climbing higher over me, my eyes struggling to stay open.

She smiled, wrapped her legs further around me and whispered in my ear, 'I love you.'

The wave engulfed me, crashing against me from the inside. A cry erupted from my chest as my eyes slammed shut and my hips plunged into Bella, lights flashed behind my lids as my body released into her, the waves of bliss coming over and over from my head to my feet, desire, yearning, craving, lust and love filling every part of my body from bone to marble skin.

My lungs felt too small for my chest as I gulped and sucked air into me, moaning as the wave became contained in my groin, my erection still hard and firm inside her. My thrusts immediately becoming long, deep and slow as I rode out the orgasm that had left me feeling weak.

Gradually I slowed to a stop, my arms giving out to let me fall gently onto Bella's chest, her heart punching at her rib cage against my ear. I stayed inside her, thinking for one split second that I didn't want to ever move from this exact position ever again. I smiled at the thought, letting out a large sigh that washed over her skin, once again leaving a visible trail of pimples across her breast.

She loosened her legs grip on me and began to stroke my hair, kissing my forehead with her warm lips. I lifted my head to her, gazing at the most exquisite woman in the world, who had just given me the most beautiful experience of my life.

'Are you ok?' I asked genuinely concerned as to whether I had hurt her, knowing that my gentle intentions may have slipped from me over the course of our love making. She smiled a smile that lit up her face, blushed her cheeks and made her eyes shine.

'I have just made love to the most beautiful man on the planet and experienced the most insane orgasm of my life,' she blushed and giggled quietly, 'Baby, I'm not ok, I'm euphoric!' she kissed me then, passionately. I moved my hands to hold her face, her skin burning into my cold hands, sliding over the sweat that had gathered by her hairline.

'I love you Bella,' I whispered as I pulled away, looking over her face, 'Thank you for making me the happiest man on the planet,' she laughed quietly again wrapping her arms around me so that my lips met hers once again, not questioning my use of the word man instead of vampire. But at that moment I had never felt more male or more human. I had made love to the love of my life and not hurt her; I had touched her, caressed her, given her my all to give her the pleasure she wanted and needed and held her as only a man could.

I was a man in love with a woman, the most precious woman, the most beautiful woman, who kissed me and held me to her body, whispering softly in my ear, for _her_ man to make love to her again and again.

**Well there you have it folks *takes a big romantic sigh***

**Thanks for all the reviews – please let me know if you liked the way I ended it.**

**And also because I'm naughty – have a look at my new story 'A Rebel's Love' and let me know how ya like it – it's about Edward when he left Carlisle but with a Twilight twist…big kisses and hugs!**

**TTFN x x x x **


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